Merry? Christmas

It was Christmas day and everyone was ready to go to church. While we waited for our ride, my mom, whom I just spoke a few minutes ago, ended in a vegetable state. She wasn’t uttering anything, and whatever we asked her, she wasn’t responding. Her sugar level dropped to the 40’s and will surely needed some boost. My youngest brother decided to bring her to the hospital and off we went.

The emergency staff at the hospital was not the ones I would like to greet and meet. Formalities aside, their way of dealing with patients and family members was appalling. Guess I was making comparisons when I was rushed to the emergency room once in another hospital, in another country.

When my mom ended staying at the hospital for tests and recovery, the verdict was that Christmas was to be in the hospital. It was also my mom’s birthday so despite the greetings of birthday wishes and Christmas cheers, I was forlorn and grumpy. I didn’t plan on vacationing in a hospital for my winter break. This was just irrational, simply unacceptable.

When feeding time came, I was crying not because I was to spoon fed my mom but because I cannot look at her condition. Pity permeated the air. I rushed myself to the toilet to cry and wash up. I cannot be a nurse nor a doctor.

I was angrier than angry the next day when for the next 15 hours, I haven’t had anything to eat since I cannot leave my mom alone when for every fifteen to thirty minutes ,someone was there to ask something or to take notes. When I finally got food at noon time, I was grumpier than ever because I haven’t had enough sleep nor a decent one.

I went home and slept for four hours to recharge what there was to recharge. I went back to the hospital and my mom was a bit better. I was glad that she was doing well and that she was starting to speak intelligibly.

The day of my flight, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to my mom. I asked her to press my hand and she was able to do so. I cried because she was trying to be stronger than me. When the nurse later told me that she can be discharged, I was running from doctor to doctor to secure release by initially paying the bills first. I asked for my brother to come to pick us up. When everything was back to normal and I ended having a light snack, I went back to the cashier and found my other siblings in there. It was a good sight to behold since I haven’t seen the four of us together for a long time. It takes one emergency incident to make us gather as one. Pitiful but encouraging.

The experience woke me up as I was selfish all throughout. I care not for my mom but for myself and for my well being. I was envisioning a great vacation but ended being a nursing aide. I was being bad and a bad son at most. However, the moments I spent with my mom became our bonding moments. I tried in my own little ways to cheer her up and with the laughter and smiles that we exchanged through our hospital days; it was a well spent vacation. I have been away for many years and it was only that Christmas time that we spent the most time together. It wasn’t a merry one but it was Christ-filled with awakening, commitment, and love.