Having Much of Nothing

As I grow older, the chances of doing new things and accepting challenges are taken with precautions. My busy schedule wouldn't fit any more of these incoming offers. I had been busy with work knowing no one waits for me at home. I work late because I know that I will be returning to an empty house later on. Yet I long for a good rest so when I reach the house, I clean up and then ready myself to sleep.

One night, for no apparent reason, I couldn't sleep. There were many thoughts racing through my mind. I was thinking of things to do for the next day till the thought of being alone haunted me. It might be an awakening but still I am in slumber. The thought of living a life of isolation would always be in me but the consistency of finding people to relate with and connect with overpower the feeling of solitude and loneliness.

The house where I live is of a modest size but comparing with the other houses, mine alone is right for a small family. I enjoy the peace walking in the garden. I delight in the collection of books I had collected through the years. I find contentment with the simplicity of my life.

Opening up the gates is like welcoming the luscious green that surrounds my house. Unlocking the doors mean coming back home for a much needed rest. It is like having much but enjoying less. A life that is full but still lacking. It's but a clear example of life's contradiction.

The emptiness is but temporary because the fullness of God is always felt within.