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| My Life |
And as I always say, leave me please for I cannot be doing these things forever. I had been giving, through financial and emotional supports, and I am dying. I see myself in the mirror fading and I do wish that I faded now.
And as I always think, I don't want to be here anymore. I wanted to move away, to be so far that nobody can actually reach me. I wanted to be in a place where nobody knows me and that I'll start making friendships, and off to a new life.
And as I always intend, to be away, to be free. To be away not from the people who cares for me but for those who feeds on my generosity. To be free not from my responsibilities but from the shackles of greed that is bringing me down.
These are all talking, an emotional outburst of what had been transpiring for years now. I am looking for ways to escape, not temporarily but permanently, so as to be happy once again. The smiles had long gone and I wanted them back. I will walk the walk so as to gain my happy demeanour once again.
I feel a tinge of guilt while reading your blog. My parents have been working out of the country for more than a decade now, and there were times, when I was a child when I'd be so bratty because they couldn't give what I wanted at the moment that I want it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I started to grow up, became more mature, that was the only time that I realized how hard it must have been for them to work away from the family.
I hope you feel better soon. I hope you get what you wanted.You should reward yourself a trip somehwere. No phonecalls, no internet connection. Maybe just the beach, the sun, sand and clear blue sky!
Thank you Ishna for walking through. I had been down for some time now but I am trying to be strong and with your sincere words, I thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteI will reward myself with a trip, looking forward to going back to Cambodia with some friends and a trip to India as well next year.
Thank you and more power to you.