Journey, Time for a Change

 Journey

Unspoken, quiet demeanour

Utter not, timorous feelings

Deep inside, nil expressions

Of grief , brim filling

Of failure, to face anew

no growth, still ongoings

Hard headed, fail to see

one's life, never changing

Dead leaves, lost direction

autumn colours, forthcoming

Scattered wild, dare to pick

different path, way traversing

The Secret Garden, a Reflection

The book was an abridged version of the original written by Frances Hodgson Burnett first published in 1911. A classic in English children's literature, the book had been adapted for screen and stage plays.

Mary Lennox was a spoiled child who lived in India but when her parents died of sickness, she moved to her uncle's house in England and found many discoveries not just of the house and her family, but also of herself. Most importantly, she discovered the secret garden locked by her uncle for a reason. 

The story reminded me of my past and my fondness of gardening. There were delightful moments in the story such as when Mary started to grow her own garden:

Time slipped by as she went on weeding and clearing dead leaves and grass. 

I always tell people that gardening is a sure way of being at peace. The condo where I resided many years ago restricted me from moving as I had only four vertices and lines to moved around with. I decided to live in a house even if the rental fee was much higher and I had no regrets. 

Gardening became a friend and my work and walk in the garden are treasured moments. I became calmer and healthier. I was like Mary. 

"This fresh air is doin' thee good. Tha's fatter and not so yeller. Tha looked like a young plucked crow when tha first came."

Another character in the book was named Colin who was bedridden for years and it was Mary who invited him to the garden. When Mary decided to show Colin the garden, it was at this moment that I cried.

Mary opened the door. Colin looked round for a long time, seeing all the things Mary had described. Then he cried out, "I shall get well! I shall live for ever and ever!" That afternoon, the whole world changed for Colin.

I remember having doubts about my abilities to do things on my own and the mean things I hear from all around me. Attending a plush university many years ago and being told by my classmates that I will not succeed because of how I am, I proved them wrong.

Colin sat up angrily. "I'm not a cripple! I'll show you!" he cried. Colin remained standing. He suddenly felt his fears leave him. "I'm not afraid any more! I'm not going to be a poor thing any more!"

The university where I came from was the garden as it was instrumental to my learnings and experiences of being a teacher. I found the secrets and shared them for many years. The doubtful and discerning classmates were the stubborn rocks and rubbish that had to be set aside. 

Thus I say, "So you all said that I won't succeed because of who I am, well, I may not be your kind of people but I am the kind of person many people like to emulate."

Reminiscing My Love

As I grow older, I cannot but recall the glorious moments when I went into theatre which is my first love. Starting young in high school, I was always excited to attend my drama class with Mrs. Era where I portrayed many roles in our class acting activities. After one stage play in high school, there was no follow up during my university years as I was studying to be in priesthood (seriously).

When I started working, I was the shy fellow and I need to do something about this so I attended an acting workshop at the Cultural Centre of the Philippines. I can vividly recall what my teachers told everyone after two weeks of attendance.

"I am so disappointed with all of you except for Jonathan!", said Frank Rivera, our acting mentor. "When Jonathan arrived late the first day of class, I looked at my assistant and blurted, another nerd! However, he is the only one who writes down all the pointers in class, who listens intently and follow all the instructions and blew us away with his first acting presentation. I wanted you to be like him because if you cannot, please do not come to class anymore!"

Then after some years, I attended another acting class given by Monique Wilson under her New Voice Company. There were almost forty participants during the early weeks of classes until the number dwindled to less than fifteen. There were only two men left and some of the ladies had to performe male parts. I learned that most were intimidated by the use of English while performing in class which was a pity because it wasn't an English camp, it was an acting workshop. We performed Our Town.

I remembered walking down the school hall when I met a friend named Kelly McKay and she looked at me and gave me the widest smile ever. I asked her why and she just said, "Perfect!" Later I received a notice asking me to report at the school's auditorium and there was Dennis Marasigan, the theatre director, who seemed to be unaware of my presence until I was introduced to him by my friends on stage. I immediately got the part without knowing what I will be doing. 

The Eunuchs

The Proteans

The Dancers

In summary, I felt like an outsider since I am not being directed as to where I should stand or walk. I made my own moves. Fortunately, all the ad libs I did worked so well that after all the performances, I was so popular that I get morning greetings whenever the faculty and students see me. I did two plays for the school, A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to the Forum and Aunt Mame.

Aunt Mame

Nora (Cheryl) and Ito (Jonathan)

My best memory of being in my last theatre play was when I accidentally bumped into Tami Monsod in Thailand a few years after. "Oh my, you are here in Thailand," she said. "I have to tell you that someone from our last theatre play wanted to know you more but that person was just so shy to approach you. After that play and the school year, our friend left Manila downhearted." Sighs...

Here, I became a children's theatre director after my stint in Manila and had been teaching drama for young children ever since. Though I had not been on stage for a long time as an actor, my heart still and will be in theatre arts.