To Be Me

Dear Grand mum,

 I used to remember the times where you asked me to look at some pictures of our Chinese saints and you had been encouraging me to draw them.  I remembered getting some money afterwards when I’m done with each figures.  It was a good way to show my creative side aside from the money I’d earned too. (Thus my creativity.)

When things were tough, you had always been there for me especially when you gave me your savings to send me to school.  I recalled crying because the last day of registration was that certain day and still, dad had not given me the fee for enrollment. (Thus my love of learning.)

 Busy days in the kitchen had always been our everyday routine. You’ll send me to the market to purchase things for the restaurant. You always give me the change. I enjoyed seeing you and granddad do the dishes.  As I looked to learn, I simply savoured the smell from all those tasty Chinese noodles. (Thus my culinary appreciation.)

You were there to help me with my Chinese homework and together we read newspapers and books for me to translate. There was an instance when you helped me picked up the pieces when I was down and out. Your listening ears had been my constant companions. (Thus my generous heart.)

I do miss you so when you passed away many years ago without my knowledge. I mourned your absence in my everyday dealings and I always have dreams about you.  You had been an inspiration. I am always guided by your words of wisdom and your innate capacity to give and love. (Thus my dedication to succeed.)

Thank you for being you and for giving me a life to treasure. You’ll be proud of me. Until we meet! 

Love,

Jonathan

P.S. It’s my birthday today and I owe a lot of things from you. Your life will always be my shining example. Thank you for being a great part of me. 

Turning Another Leaf

The butterfly plant I had been growing was accidentally clogged by water and with my absence from gardening in two weeks time, it withered and died. I looked at the plant in its sad state and took my cutting shears to cut the plant from its branches to its main trunk. I looked back at the beauty it manifested through the years and the happiness it gave me, watching the flowers soar its petals like wings. It is now gone.

Friendship is like the butterfly plant. At its heightened stage, the beauty it manifolds capture even the most minute spirit. The small talks, the glances, the smiles, the tears, the intrigues, the gossips and many others become a concoction of delight to friendship. When great efforts are poured towards its growth, a similar great camaraderie results in the end.

Yet the beauty of friendship holds long only when it is nurtured and ventured. For there will come some time that neglect becomes a regular visitor while the option of starting one with a new acquaintance becomes a possibility. The seemingly happy dispositions has now started to fade. The link between two individuals have started to tarnish. It is always in doing much that kills anything - too much love, too much hatred, too much concern, too much ongoings.

I cannot save the butterfly plant because it is in its dying stage. As for some friendships built, it is indeed difficult to start anew when someone had closed its doors for me. As for to save a friendship gone, it is indeed a gargantuan task to find something from nothing.

A leaf is to turn when what of the past simply cannot be lived again.

The Road to Take

Life uncertainties are lurking wherever you are. Each decisions we make have no valid proof that they will work out well. Each endeavours can be marred by defeats. Each actions can be halted by doubts and disappointments.

Yet with all the downsides of life, there will always be a road to take. Some roads are easily travelled but some are rough and confusing. We seem to ride through life's journey partaking within ourselves the wisdom it entails. We always know the journey as something we take, to bring us somewhere and to deliver us to our destination. The question is where the destination is.

Knowing the journey but not the destination becomes a story of sort of our own adventures in life. Venturing through the unknown, the mystical, the magical, the dangerous, the exciting path declares our love for such expedition. Though the uncertainties exist, we subsist.

I am always on a voyage as I find a better way to teach my students, as I face the realities of sadness and happiness, as I make connection with my family, as I grow professionally and physically, and as I find the road to take to become closer to God and to become a better person. So that when I finally find my destination, all is well.

Sawatdee Pee Mai 2553

Blessed be the start of a new year
As we renew our life and think of good deeds.