Great Beginning, Bad Ending

I was quiet in my living
when a rather peculiar start
stirred and brought an idea
an offer to be one.

I was enthralled for the honesty
and the well organized plans
to live and behold
from now till the end.

But what of being naive
and lacking of judgment
in my part believing
what of truth is not.

I have thought that I will be
in love, a different person
yet I gave myself to insanity
for one simple promise.

And when the hammer was thrown
the verdict was read
all of these but illusions
a trick, a trap, devoid of emotions.

For none of what was shared
had shed some light
the beginning was beautiful
the rest were not.

So now in my quiet existence
lest someone disturbed again
a stern look unwavering
to give not, a second chance.

Just One Letter

I don't get much of letters and e-mails but when I do, it speaks so powerful that I am prompted to share, I mean, publish as to add this piece in my digital diary for keeps.

The one week we stayed in your home was very exciting, fun, happy and also with a touch of sadness. Sadness because it also pains me to see that you're living alone with nobody to take care of your needs like morning breakfast and simple things but I guess that what makes you stronger, as long as you find solemnity and peace in your place, I'll always be happy for you.

The short time we spent together is almost endless to me, you are not just a brother but also a good friend. My family and I will always treasure all the times we spent together.

I wish I could answer all the questions we always ask regarding our family but I guess some things are better off if we just let it be. Always remember that no matter what they say, you are my brother and I'm so damn proud of it! Nobody can change that and I thank God for making you my brother. Please take care of your health always, choose well your friends, and be strong as always.



Lovely isn't it.

The Flower

The Flower is currently my fave book since I acquired a copy last winter break. It tells the story of Brigg, who works in a library, accidentally finding a book about flowers. It is a non-existent thing for him and for the rest of the people in the city. He is so fascinated with the book that for some twist of faith, found some seeds and planted them. Thus the start of a new, bright place to live.

The story is written to remind us as to what could happen in the future. As one of my students commented, "It's a very sad story.". Yes, and indeed true. The illustrations by Lisa Evans are dramatic and very appealing. She is a talented artist and each page evokes the emotions and feelings most likely wanted by the author John Light to express.

I have heard about a safe shelter built for flower seeds and things from nature. The world is getting ready for some changes. It is saddening to know that most will be lost and even with our tremendous work of future preservation and conservation, the change is inevitable.

The beauty of yesteryears could be maintained if we do our contribution. It need not be big, for little deeds put together is a heap.

Not Funny

I was reading a book to my students when suddenly two of the girls started giggling. I stopped as I was reading a serious part of the story where the girl was crying and telling her grand mom about the situation. I asked the girls the reason for the giggling and they said, "The story is sad but your face is funny."

I was in a play many years ago and I enjoyed that moment of my life where I get to play multiple roles and be seen by my students and people I work with. It was a blast afterwards. I walked around the school campus and everyone would just remarked, "Great job! You were so funny!"

I met a person years ago and he enjoys my company so much not because of the wisdom I could impart but because I give him the most funny faces ever as answer to his illogical remarks and observations. I remember him asking me to do the face over and over again. "Please do it, you look so funny!"

I could have been a clown, working in a circus and surrounded by many people. I could have been an entertainer or a comedian in a cafe bar because of my wit and sense of humour. I could be an emcee because of my quick remarks and banters.

My life is not a carnival of events. It is a facade. I may be puckered up and painted with a giant smile on my face but I am always hurting inside. Just like a comedian who has the knack to make people laugh, I am but a simple person whose dark moments shine during quiet times. I am also beset with worries. Just like the emcee whose life is probably filled with excitement and news, I am but a print whose relevance is only at the moment.

Despite the funny face I can muster, I am the complete opposite when I am alone. I cry watching movies when I hear words of wisdom about family, about friendships, and about love. I simply dismiss togetherness seen when I spend dinner time at food courts. I walk without stop when I visit markets passing groups of friends or people being together. I choose to stay home rather than socialize because I am tired to share.

I lost something along the way. I long for something I don't have or had missed. I am born different. I am a paradox and a master of disguise. Simply put, the things in my life are not fun and not funny at all.