Merry? Christmas

It was Christmas day and everyone was ready to go to church. While we waited for our ride, my mom, whom I just spoke a few minutes ago, ended in a vegetable state. She wasn’t uttering anything, and whatever we asked her, she wasn’t responding. Her sugar level dropped to the 40’s and will surely needed some boost. My youngest brother decided to bring her to the hospital and off we went.

The emergency staff at the hospital was not the ones I would like to greet and meet. Formalities aside, their way of dealing with patients and family members was appalling. Guess I was making comparisons when I was rushed to the emergency room once in another hospital, in another country.

When my mom ended staying at the hospital for tests and recovery, the verdict was that Christmas was to be in the hospital. It was also my mom’s birthday so despite the greetings of birthday wishes and Christmas cheers, I was forlorn and grumpy. I didn’t plan on vacationing in a hospital for my winter break. This was just irrational, simply unacceptable.

When feeding time came, I was crying not because I was to spoon fed my mom but because I cannot look at her condition. Pity permeated the air. I rushed myself to the toilet to cry and wash up. I cannot be a nurse nor a doctor.

I was angrier than angry the next day when for the next 15 hours, I haven’t had anything to eat since I cannot leave my mom alone when for every fifteen to thirty minutes ,someone was there to ask something or to take notes. When I finally got food at noon time, I was grumpier than ever because I haven’t had enough sleep nor a decent one.

I went home and slept for four hours to recharge what there was to recharge. I went back to the hospital and my mom was a bit better. I was glad that she was doing well and that she was starting to speak intelligibly.

The day of my flight, I went to the hospital to say goodbye to my mom. I asked her to press my hand and she was able to do so. I cried because she was trying to be stronger than me. When the nurse later told me that she can be discharged, I was running from doctor to doctor to secure release by initially paying the bills first. I asked for my brother to come to pick us up. When everything was back to normal and I ended having a light snack, I went back to the cashier and found my other siblings in there. It was a good sight to behold since I haven’t seen the four of us together for a long time. It takes one emergency incident to make us gather as one. Pitiful but encouraging.

The experience woke me up as I was selfish all throughout. I care not for my mom but for myself and for my well being. I was envisioning a great vacation but ended being a nursing aide. I was being bad and a bad son at most. However, the moments I spent with my mom became our bonding moments. I tried in my own little ways to cheer her up and with the laughter and smiles that we exchanged through our hospital days; it was a well spent vacation. I have been away for many years and it was only that Christmas time that we spent the most time together. It wasn’t a merry one but it was Christ-filled with awakening, commitment, and love.

We Will Live!

Considering the extent of destruction being wreck by the flood waters from the North, Thailand along with its brave citizens continuously brace what is happening and what is to happen. There are many things transpiring each day what with the tears, anguish, anger and surrendering wills. There are also stories of bravery and creative inputs, means to make the situation bearable to live, if not to survive.

The scarier sides of the flood waters does not just mean ruins in the lives of the people but also of properties and spirits. There are also news of crocodiles escaping legal and illegal farms as well as the recent rumours of fifteen green mamba snakes that escaped a pet owner's house. Diseases will become issues as well as means for clean and drinking water. The scarcity of food is also a big problem what with the hoarding and the jacked up prices.

The people had been creative as well as with the invention of plastic wraps for cars and floaters for cars and bicycles. Basins are often used as a means of transport with portable fans as motor engines. The emergence of EM balls or effective microorganism balls is thought to help clean up stagnant and murky water. Duck floats were invented to test electrical currents in water. Plastic bags are then used for storing potable water instead of big, plastic containers.

The scenario in Thailand is eerie as when I am so used to walking the streets and seeing people selling food and right now, it is just water all over. The merchants have on display life jackets, rubber boots and galvanized boats for sale. You see sand bags being sold on the streets and some specific places where you can purchase bottled water. Army trucks are everywhere transporting people from their inundated homes to safe camps. Boats have been the means of transportation for most.

For me, the exodus of people fleeing their homes is an unbearable sight. Children in floating basins tagged by their parents, teens and grown ups bearing suitcases and backpacks on their heads, garbage bags filled with vital and personal things pulled through the currents become ordinary scenarios of the city. The lost of properties is not much of an issue for material things can be replaced but the lost of lives is a different story.

As I sit down in horror watching news everyday and with the building anxiety in me, I cannot help but cry and be depressed with what is unfolding in the land I learned to love. My heart goes to all those who are suffering and this goes to everyone residing in Thailand.

We will live, we will be a great nation again!

For photos, please visit:

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2011/10/thailand_flood_reaches_bangkok.html

Being Validated

When I was much younger, I always looked into rewards and this was the reason why I studied harder and made good grades. I wasn't into toys or new shoes or anything fancy. The reward I asked for is to be recognized, to be validated. I was, until I landed fourth in class one year and all the negative comments I heard made me stopped pursuing honours. I just studied, still passed with flying colours and even received a scholarship after university but made no effort to be rewarded.

When I started earning money, I reward myself by collecting books since they will be my companions as a teacher and my source of income as well when I do tutorials. I have a huge collection now ranging from award winners to books that are no longer being published. The parents of my students knew about my collection and there had been some years that I get additional books to add to my growing library or some gift certificates to purchase books I don't have and I am happy.

I had never craved for anything luxurious and whatever comes in my way, I received heartily. The best gifts I received were that of greetings and thank you cards and drawn pictures of my students. The most generous were longer letters validating my existence as a teacher and being a great mentor to their children. I have them all with me, kept safe.

I appreciate small things such as a phone call from a friend when I was about to be wheeled to the operating room. I cried when one of my best buddies baked me a special cake during my birthday. I was in tears when the children and parents of my class last year gave me a special book about "Me in the Eyes of the Children". I was fleeting in glee when someone acknowledged my presence and extended a smile. I am touched when a friend called to ask my whereabouts and condition during this great flood crisis in Thailand. These small things, I treasure.

I am grateful to my sister and aunt who had been in contact during these past weeks as well as with some friends and acquaintances who had shown their concerns. For me, it acts as a catalyst to further assure myself that someone out there is still my friend. I didn't ask for treasures because it will just make my journey a heavy one. What I bring will be treasured memories and encouraging words to validate that I am Jonathan, the only one.