My Kind of Work

And what do the children learn in school?  Plenty and all of their learning comes from them.  I am a mere facilitator of learning.  I am there to guide, not direct. I am a mere observer of the children's growth.  A witness, I may say, with patience and a kind heart. 

And after one school year, hundreds of hours, numerous headaches and stresses, an overnight in school, and one sleepless night, the end product of a one year long process of learning and experiences. It was a journey worth traversing. 

Mirrors

Coming back from dinner, I was in deep silence reflecting on things that is going on with my life. My mind was swirling with so many ideas, both great and dreary.  And while I was caught in my daydreaming, I was in awe when I saw what was going on at that time, sundown.

My one year excitement to be in Europe for the summer of 2016, which will be next month, is not going to materialize.  Though I saved enough for this upcoming trip, a series of unfortunate events led me to use up the savings I had.  I cried when I texted my friend that I won't be able to join them.  I was filled with hatred and anger, which I shouldn't be, whenever I remember the people who caused these troubles for me. 

Work have been a perennial stress for me.  I planned to permanently return back home after this summer but some other circumstances prompted me to stay put.  Though my contract was renewed, it wasn't a cause of celebration because work right now is hampered by stagnancy.  I do not grow anymore and the people who work side by side with me are constant source of frustrations. 

I am beginning to feel depress, again.  From wanting to break from solitary presence to a life of companionship, while being free from the worries and stresses of my present work and, to do what I enjoyed doing, traveling.  With all these wanting comes the need, the need to be whole again.  But with the sundown of my life, a new day will come the next day. With the coming sunrise, a hope that with all these defeats, I will become a victor. 

the old jonathan

Dear 'dy,

Once depressed and meandering, life was just a cycle of waking up, going to work, and sleeping.  It was monotonous and without any sense of direction.  There was one, that of death, to finish breathing and leave.  He was always writing of sadness, negative thoughts and death.  Then one day, he woke from his slumber because someone peeked, took time to meander and stayed. 

Our lives are like a walk in two different paths.  After encountering a lot of bumps and strings of challenges, we came into a fork and met.  We looked at each other’s eyes metaphorically, and ended sitting down for a big talk. 

You are a blessing for giving me something to look forward to.  Your words, your wisdom, your witty remarks and our exchanges are amazing.  You are sweet, loving and very endearing.  You gave me an opportunity to smile, something I have not done for a long time.  And that smile is something I will always cherish because I didn’t believe that I will be alive again.  You gave what others did not give.  You saw what others failed to see.  You accepted me for what I am, the sad person I was.

You changed me.  Not for the worst but for the better.  You made me see the world in a different light.  I walk through lightness and without the heavy weight anymore.  I stroll down with less baggages making it easier to move.  I dance in the rain because your love showers me in all directions.  

You needed to be appreciated.  You dig deep into my life and continues to be amazed as to what I can offer of which I am not even aware of.  Your presence lifts me up all the time.  Your calls are like batteries to a dying heart.  Your voice is my strength.  You push me up, not down, so that I can see myself as a confident, beautiful person. Thank you. 

I love you for coming into my life.  I am grateful for being given the chance to love you.  I am happy for what is transpiring. I am filled with joy when people see me as something new for that old Jonathan is simply vanishing. 

All because of you.