Mirrors

Coming back from dinner, I was in deep silence reflecting on things that is going on with my life. My mind was swirling with so many ideas, both great and dreary.  And while I was caught in my daydreaming, I was in awe when I saw what was going on at that time, sundown.

My one year excitement to be in Europe for the summer of 2016, which will be next month, is not going to materialize.  Though I saved enough for this upcoming trip, a series of unfortunate events led me to use up the savings I had.  I cried when I texted my friend that I won't be able to join them.  I was filled with hatred and anger, which I shouldn't be, whenever I remember the people who caused these troubles for me. 

Work have been a perennial stress for me.  I planned to permanently return back home after this summer but some other circumstances prompted me to stay put.  Though my contract was renewed, it wasn't a cause of celebration because work right now is hampered by stagnancy.  I do not grow anymore and the people who work side by side with me are constant source of frustrations. 

I am beginning to feel depress, again.  From wanting to break from solitary presence to a life of companionship, while being free from the worries and stresses of my present work and, to do what I enjoyed doing, traveling.  With all these wanting comes the need, the need to be whole again.  But with the sundown of my life, a new day will come the next day. With the coming sunrise, a hope that with all these defeats, I will become a victor.