Not the Fallen Leaves

All through the years, I had been counting the flowers that bloom instead of the leaves that fall. There was a time in my life last year when I was doubting everything and was losing sanity. No matter how I wanted to see the colours and the life of nature around me, it simply ceases. But for every fall, there will always be a chance to stand.

I am standing now. For to cease life ever interest is just a futile approach to living. The flowers will bloom when it wanted to so as life's surprises will come along the way. The leaves wither and the fruits dropped yet they are replaced by new buds. So when one is weary for the many sorrows and stresses, one should also be able to see what comes out of those experiences. It is life changing. It is life learning.

I struggle in many ways most especially with my goal to be accepted. I had grown in me a certain persecution complex brought about by the demands and expectations of society. There might be people who will be willingly giving up the fight but I am not one of them. I do my best in every endeavour and while seeking approval in the beginning, I had learned that I do things because I am happy to do them. There should not be any exchange or favours connected. Through life's journey, I stopped looking for acceptance for I know the moment I touch lives, the journey never ends.

I continue to count the flowers not of the trees but of the experiences I gain all throughout. I take the failures, the fallen dreams, the heartaches as withered leaves. Leaves that fall, being swept away, caught and thrown or crushed by time.