Another First

I am feeling uneasy with the acid reflux I am experiencing for some time now so I opted to find the reason by having an ultrasound done. The result was quite alarming at first but because of the prospect of a non-invasive procedure, I chose to take medications to ease the pain.

The medicines work for a while but recently, the burning sensation in my chest rendered me sleepless for two nights. I went back to the doctor who suggested endoscopy and another one who recommended an immediate surgery. It was disorienting to hear them talk as images of an operating table, blood, incision were racing through my fertile mind.

I remember asking my doctor how long will the incision be and when he answered with, "three days!" I was baffled. I asked if I could do some exercise after the operation and the answer was, "stomach press!" and soon I was swimming in confusion. I raced out of the emergency room and demanded an interpreter so as to be clear of all the things I heard.

I got one and after a long discussion, I went home with weak knees. I took some weeks off from work so that I could take care of my health and decided to undergo the surgery. Today, help came in heaps from the hospital staff. They are very supportive and even appreciate my jokes.

A friend called and I told her that I am enjoying the view of Koh Samed (an island resort in Thailand) right outside my window. I mentioned as well that I am going to have a baby girl through Cesarean section. I have to be in high spirits because I am alone and will have to face another first all by myself.

When I was wheeled at the operating room this morning for endoscopy carrying my bag of extra clothes, I was bombarded by questions. "Are you alone?" "No family or friends?" The nurses were actually amazed that I brought myself to the hospital without any companions, bags and all. The nurses started to offer their support and I shed some tears. I cried not because I was afraid but because I pity myself.

The surgery will be done in a couple of hours as I type this entry and all I am doing is drilling in my mind the words of encouragement and support I am getting from my colleagues in school and from the parents of my students. And when this surgery is done, I'll be back as the strong person again.

I will remember the people who showered me with kindness and support: Dr. Siriwan, Dr. Chairat, Amika, Nattawan, K. Noina, K. Ann, K. Porn, K. Noi and others from Nonthavej hospital; Corinna and the people from my school; the parents of my students in my special tutoring classes such as Voon and Vaan, Motto, Mind and Mint, Tabby and Bambi, and Elle; and friends like Wasan, Pong and Rommel and a special mention to my sister J.

In a way I am bless because I have the resources to care for my well-being and the love of the people that surrounds me. Believe me, it is difficult to be alone in this world but it is more difficult to live without anyone and anything to hold.

Insignificant

The battering wind and the pouring rain unleashed since two in the morning. By six in the morning, the streets were flooded and the water was knee deep. I opted to walk the long way to reach my work place as it was impossible for a car or a motorbike to pick me up. As I thread the waters of rubbish and dirt, some of the floating matters embraced my legs and I shook them off. The walk was tiring yet the rain that soaked my being refreshed and gave me no opportunity to complain.

I reached the school wet and dirty yet the feeling was different. The short morning challenge was fruitful in terms of battling the odds, in facing the battles of life, in creating a positive mental attitude and in not losing hope.

Some have financial problems while others suffer from physical deficiencies. Each individual faces something which at the start seems inescapable yet with determination and faith, holds the sense of freedom from bonds.

It is very easy to say that a positive mental attitude is all what we need. However, not everyone is blessed to think the same way. The roads taken by some had been oblivious to fear and rejection. For some, they see no light for there’s no one to listen or speak to. So here comes faith, believing that we will go through those odds. Here comes hope, the prospect of seeing a tomorrow. Here comes friendship, the need to be with someone, just ask and be humble.

The flood gave me time to reflect as I wade through the debris and rushing water yet it was insignificant. The lessons learned throughout the experience is, that whatever happens, it is in our power that we survive and that we go on living.

Names Galore

One of the fascinating things about Thailand is the name given to a new born child. Aside from their proper names, they are given nick names that consists of Thai words which has meanings both literally and creatively.

I remember having a class many years ago where three of my students are named after food: Voon (jelly), Donut and Yam Roll. Then there's the other class, former students of mine called Cookie and her cousin Eclair. Throw in a child named Pizza and another called IceCream and I probably had a party that year.

I was fortunate to have two sets of triplets one year in my teaching career and they are aptly called Neung (one), Song (two), and Sarm (three). The first set of triplets were a boy and two girls while the second one were two boys and one girl. Irregardless of their sex, the names are used to distinguish who was born first among the three siblings. One of the set of triplets got another sibling and you might have guessed his name, Si meaning four.

There are many names given to children of which they bring as they grow old such as Mook, Pim, Nat, Pee, Naam, Shin and the like. Foreign sounding names are also in such as Tempo, Ice, Print, Guitar, Mint, Elle, Gunza, and Music.

I have a colleague whose name is Last because she is the youngest in the family while her brother is named First. My subsitute trainer is named Glang which means middle so I was right when I told him that he must be the middle child. He showed me the photo of his brothers and told me that there are three of them in the family. The eldest is named Yai (big) and the youngest is Lek (small) so put them together, one would have three different sizes. For a while, I stopped and smiled as my intriguing mind was making note whether the sizes would mean another thing. Guess I just have to put the matter into rest since there's no way I will be able to find out, naughty me!

If you are wondering what mine is, I mean, my Thai name, it's Hern Fah.

There's Always a First

I bought this water plant for many years now. Placed prominently in the middle of my small pond, this Lotus had been producing leaves constantly without giving any flowers for me to appreciate. From the onset of summer and the drying of the pond; it was actually neglected for the most part. The rain had been pouring since last month and out of the blue, I spotted a bulb coming out and then one of the most beautiful creations in the garden emerged, a Lotus flower in the midst of green leaves and murky water. This is a first.

My health is not doing well as I am suffering from a stomach problem. With the inspiring stories told to me by my assistant, I was prompted to see and later joined a local gym. I hired a trainer and had been adamant to attend in the beginning but I am now enjoying the experience. This is a first.

For a year now, I had been trying to ride the motorbike and do find ways to go around the village where I live. I use the bike to do errands such as paying bills, buying food or fruits and for picking up the newspaper or some snacks. Never in my life had I ventured out of the village on my bike. However, the petrol in my bike had been used up. Thanks to my driver who couldn’t come anymore to fill it up, I mustered enough courage and headed out of the village to the nearest petrol station and had the motorbike filled. I was nervous but it was exhilarating riding out of the village with all the cars and trucks and motorcycles alike. This is another first.

All these first time experiences happened this week and I am so glad to have come out of my negligence and fear. For the coming months, I will be attempting more firsts, in a more personal way. Wink, wink!

One Night Only

In one of my few trips around, I met a certain fellow whom for a reason became friendly to me. Seated across the room in a busy restaurant, the server came and greeted me with a smile. "Long time no see!" "You remember me?" I asked, wondering how he could do that when there had been plenty of people visiting the restaurant everyday. My last visit was a month ago where I asked him how to reach the market as I need to purchase some curtains. His joke of "five hours walk" made me smile and I didn't know that he will remember me for that inquiry.

After paying the bill, he asked if I could pick him up after work as he wanted to go out for dinner. I obliged and even when there was rain, I came on time. We walked through the cobblestone pathway quietly while listening to the pitter patter of the rain. I was holding an umbrella while sharing it with him as he push his bicycle towards a small eatery.

We ordered for some noodles and when everything were finished, the story began. His story was indeed moving, same old tales spoken and told by most. While I listened to his woes but with eagerness to survive, I was moved by his honesty and his sharing without barriers.

The rain stopped and we parted ways. While he threaded the walkway towards home I looked back and simply admired his way of thinking. There he was, a mere stranger, wanting a new life. His strength and will to free himself from the bondage of poverty and start life anew in that city had given me a new perspective of what I should be aiming for.

That night, the man wanted someone to listen, and I did. That night, I myself was transformed. My problems are nothing compared to his. I must be thankful. I must learn to give.