One afternoon as I was watching television, it dawned on me that I have no life. It was a weekend when all through the weekday I was planning to go to the supermarket to get some groceries, to walk to the weekend market to see some new wares and thought of going to see a new movie being shown. However a stomach flu prevented me from doing all what was planned. I stayed put in my home and consumed DVDs.
In the middle of the afternoon, tears started to well down my eyes and then I started sobbing. Looking out of my door, the darkening clouds of a gloomy afternoon was making friends with my feelings. Both were melancholic, almost hurting to the touch. I needed some healing.
I paused what I was watching and headed out to my garden which had been my place of solemnity all throughout. Looking at the unfinished side of the garden of which I was trying to re-design, it made me realized that my life was like what was right in front of me. The empty pots, the creeping roots, the piled up dirt, and the grass and weeds were like the feelings I had been harbouring all these times.
My life is an unfinished one, just like everyone else's. We have things to accomplish or responsibilites to be done. We have promises to be fulfilled and dreams to follow suit. Life is not all beautiful for it is an ongoing process that we must face. The garden I admired for years and the flowers and plants I looked at won't be there forever. I need to work on them and give them what they need.
My life, just like yours, is work. A work that we need to do, following the protocols of survival. My momentary fall to misery will always be there so I need to work on it. The garden won't be pretty by itself, it needed work. I won't be happy everyday but the sudden feeling of lost wakes my mind about the presence of hope, of tomorrow, and of happiness that I'll find. Like when I work in the garden, one day at a time, true happiness can be found.
You know,I have always been wondering where life would take me.
ReplyDeleteTalk about problem and circumstances,from big to small.. Mann,, I had a lot.
And there came a time when I feel like giving up but of course,I chose not to.
I think "my garden" has a lot of improvement to do.
Nice post,as always.
Thanks Anne, and we could as well learn from all the things that comes. Even in this blogging world, we get to hear each other. Thanks for the visit.
ReplyDeleteIt takes one to know one so what we do is we start now and soon we will see true happiness :)
ReplyDeletetrue happiness is not just finding someone or something to do. I believe true happiness is always there, we just have to be satisfied and expect less. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts always.
ReplyDeleteIkaw pa! In that Portfolio of talents and artistry that you have, that each time you open, brings joy and smiles in the faces of the little children under your tutelage. It brings out their individual talent, that not a simple person can do and they blossoms in their ability.
ReplyDeleteI am always reminded by the people around me, that life is good and there are many blessings to count. Just this week, I was told that my tutorial student placed top honours in her class in English and I was delighted, that I am well-appreciated by the owner of the school I work, and that one former student received a four year scholarship in a university in the States. Life is beautiful!
ReplyDeletetrue enough that satisfaction and happiness comes from what we do or else we won't do it anymore. Hearing that our effort brings fruit is already a satisfaction itself. It can never be replaced with anything material in this world. :)
ReplyDelete