Bonsai and My Family

When it first came to my house,

"We would like to give this to you as a present." a mom told me a year ago when I visited them in their home. It was a lovely bonsai tree and a red lantern hanging to commemorate both my birthday and the Chinese New Year last year. I was sent by the driver as the pot was heavy. It remained at the entrance of my house until I moved it as the centerpiece in front of the  garden. 

now displayed in front of the garden.

When I visited my students once again, I noticed that the bonsai tree that used to descend its branches and with its leaves so green had turned into brown and left with no leaves. It died as the family left for a vacation with no one to take care of it. It was heartbreaking because a tree that majestic was a product of care and dedication of the gardener who tended it.

Relationships are like tending the garden. The seeds that we buy or the plantlets we purchase from stores or garden shops are then grown in pots or on the ground. In the beginning, we visit the plant to see if it is growing or not, if it needed better care. But later as we become preoccupied with other things, we take the plant for granted. We let the plant grow by itself but without the proper nutrients, it will eventually wither and die. 

My relationship with my family could be like the bonsai tree of my student. It was admirable at first. However, with the absence of my mom and then our constant rantings and bickering, we could eventually fall off like leaves, dried and crushed to the ground. Our branches might no longer cascade but will droop owing to our animosity. The colouration will turn blackish instead of its robust brown caused by harsh words and blaming.

So even I am quite distant location-wise, I make sure that I still see my family once or twice a year. I still want to see them. Finding time to connect with them through e-mails or chats bridge us together but seeing them in person is much more personal. Our relationship is no longer as strong but we could all work it out by doing our parts to make it vigorous again. The thought of 'my family is the only one I have' could be my prevailing mantra in life.

I will be home for a few days and hopefully, renewing friendships and relationships. I do find going home taxing but it is a period of understanding and heartfelt listening. It will be good. It will be good.