Help Not Break

I wrote this blog entry last year before the school year ended but did not publish it for personal reasons. However, this year, which is also almost the end of the school year, another uneventful happening transpired once again.  

Last year, I was sad as one of the parents in my class went behind my back and approached another person from a big school, stating my case with her son, and that I was in need of help. There were issues regarding the behaviour of her son of which we had been discussing in regular terms. To cut the story short, the mom could have spoken to me, or to my supervisor, and that we could probably channel our efforts together to find resolutions to our problems. 

I wanted to confront the mother. I couldn't bear that inside conflicts should be poured outside the gates so as to create pity, self-absolution, and guilt free conscience on her part. The challenge was within and putting them in the open created more of a problem rather than a solution.


This year, a mom voiced her concern about her child telling her that I had commented not liking the child's artworks. I was baffled since I had been very careful with my words with each child. In other words, there was a misunderstanding as I wanted the girl to use her strength in drawing to venture into other illustrations. The issues were compounded not just with one comment but also with coming to school on time and issues about maturity.


As an educator, I give all but sometimes, it makes me more of an intruder rather than a facilitator to others. I always have good intentions but sometimes they are read otherwise.


My point is that we should be looking inside, ourselves, as the problem could be deep within us. It could be a personality conflict, a retaliation to change, a seemingly need of attention, a desperate attempt to belong, a deep desire to be heard, or simply a growing need to be independent and self-sufficient. It could be that I had been lenient, or too strict, too giving, or too loving. It could be that I allowed the child's behaviour to grow wild. It could be the child is testing the limits of his teachers. It could be related to maturity or to his developmental growth.

The problem could be stemming from the parent's way of handling the child. It could be that he is the youngest and still being consider a baby of the family. It could be that there is denial on their part as to the manifested behaviour. It could be that their way of rearing the youngest simply doesn't fit the mold of how they reared the eldest child. It could also be that the parents are too giving or too understanding.

Whatever happens, the situation could not be remedied by constant gossiping, blaming and finger pointing. The key to change is communication. Knowing that what is to be done today will affect tomorrow. Knowing that early intervention is a great catalyst for change. Knowing that the intentions of all parties concerned is for the benefit of the child. Working together is far better than destroying each others' reputation.


Helping becomes a better choice than destroying each other.

Families

As I was being sent off by the father of one of the students I teach, I told him that I am willing to stop if they don't need me anymore since I had been teaching the children during the weekends for many years now. He mentioned that he wanted the children to practise speaking so I kept silent and dismissed my suggestion.


I remember when I first started with this local family many years ago, I was offered drinks and cake for snacks and I partook such delight with my student after our session. As years passed, and even with the last few years, I was not even offered a glass of water, I have to ask. I started bringing mine so as not to bother their maid but in all honesty, I feel their hostile treatment whenever I am there. There was even one time when it was my student's birthday and they will have a party afterwards so food and drinks were aplenty, I wasn't offered any.


This is because I had been doing tutorials with them for many years that the treatment becomes more mechanical rather than warm. I go there, teach and go. With this kind of situation, I cannot help but compare them with the rest of the children I teach where the dads are very approachable, the moms very accommodating, and the maids very polite and well-mannered.


The families I teach are different in many ways. While some regards me only as a paid tutor to their children, others show me that I am their family member as well. For now, I offered my resignation, it is up to them to accept or reject as I also vow to expect nothing from them but their money and this has never been my goal in teaching.


I wrote this entry because I remember a family who had been so good to me ever since. I do miss the Kitcharoenwong family a lot and will forever be thankful for their kindness and generosity.

Kind Words

Every year, I receive great feed backs from parents of my students as the school year is about to end. Their different experiences with me as a teacher prompt them to write interesting pieces and mostly shared through e-mails or greeting cards. No amount of presents, big or small, can fill the happiness and validation of the kind words they write for me. Here is one just recently:


Thank you!

He is much better. He slept and omitted most of Monday after he came home from school. Today he was a little grumpy but managed to eat some. We had no idea he was sick Monday morning when I sent him to school. I hope he didn't pass it onto anyone. Sunday night he practiced for the ISB triathlon and ran and ran and ran... He is a trooper.

I hope you are feeling better too after last week. Courtney told me you were feeling rough also. I don't know how you keep up your energy level with all the kids all the time. Amazing to me.

It crossed my mind that it will be hard for Kevin to leave ELC, since he will likely be our last to attend. We rave about your class to others, and they look forward to when their child is old enough to attend your class.

Thank you for all you do for the children. They are better people for learning from you.

Take care,
Amy


I am going to find time to compile all the e-mails I received just for this school year and put them in my blog as a reminder of why I am a teacher and why I stayed put in this profession. Though there are some tough things ahead, I will look at them as challenges and not as deterrents to succeed further.