Help Not Break

I wrote this blog entry last year before the school year ended but did not publish it for personal reasons. However, this year, which is also almost the end of the school year, another uneventful happening transpired once again.  

Last year, I was sad as one of the parents in my class went behind my back and approached another person from a big school, stating my case with her son, and that I was in need of help. There were issues regarding the behaviour of her son of which we had been discussing in regular terms. To cut the story short, the mom could have spoken to me, or to my supervisor, and that we could probably channel our efforts together to find resolutions to our problems. 

I wanted to confront the mother. I couldn't bear that inside conflicts should be poured outside the gates so as to create pity, self-absolution, and guilt free conscience on her part. The challenge was within and putting them in the open created more of a problem rather than a solution.


This year, a mom voiced her concern about her child telling her that I had commented not liking the child's artworks. I was baffled since I had been very careful with my words with each child. In other words, there was a misunderstanding as I wanted the girl to use her strength in drawing to venture into other illustrations. The issues were compounded not just with one comment but also with coming to school on time and issues about maturity.


As an educator, I give all but sometimes, it makes me more of an intruder rather than a facilitator to others. I always have good intentions but sometimes they are read otherwise.


My point is that we should be looking inside, ourselves, as the problem could be deep within us. It could be a personality conflict, a retaliation to change, a seemingly need of attention, a desperate attempt to belong, a deep desire to be heard, or simply a growing need to be independent and self-sufficient. It could be that I had been lenient, or too strict, too giving, or too loving. It could be that I allowed the child's behaviour to grow wild. It could be the child is testing the limits of his teachers. It could be related to maturity or to his developmental growth.

The problem could be stemming from the parent's way of handling the child. It could be that he is the youngest and still being consider a baby of the family. It could be that there is denial on their part as to the manifested behaviour. It could be that their way of rearing the youngest simply doesn't fit the mold of how they reared the eldest child. It could also be that the parents are too giving or too understanding.

Whatever happens, the situation could not be remedied by constant gossiping, blaming and finger pointing. The key to change is communication. Knowing that what is to be done today will affect tomorrow. Knowing that early intervention is a great catalyst for change. Knowing that the intentions of all parties concerned is for the benefit of the child. Working together is far better than destroying each others' reputation.


Helping becomes a better choice than destroying each other.