The Swing

The neglected part of my garden is the swing where a lot of precious memories are stored.  It is neglected because it had rusted from the rain and the wind. But, it is where I got to know and loved a dear friend.  Though we had parted ways for unknown reasons, I kept him in my heart.

We are two different individuals and our ways are opposites.  While I am a homebody, he is the one who wanted to be away all the time.  Any holidays are meant for traveling.  He was the one who brought me to Khao Yai where we met other foreigners for a jungle trek. It was that time when one of my runners opened up and I was literally limping dragging that opened sole until I found a store and bought a new pair of sneakers. And then to Samut Songkram where we rode a boat silently gliding into the waters to see the spectacular fireflies nestled among trees and where it was my first time to experience home stay with a local family.

I had the chance to visit him in his university where one day, he prepared a bountiful feast for a picnic near the river.  That was probably one of the sweetest thing a friend had done to me.  There was also the once a month movie watching as he is a film buff.  After the movie, I see myself sitting at the pavement opposite the theatre watching people passed by.  Whiling away time, the conversations were of depth and humorous, ending only because it was already past two in the morning.

Our initial meet was when a common friend organized a dinner as he just arrived from Canada.  I was seated beside him and during the course of conversation found out that he was also stationed in Thailand.  Lo and behold, our trip back to Bangkok was on the same day so we met at the airport and chatted inside the plane for more than three hours non-stop.  I bet the people behind and beside us were annoyed with our chuckles, laughter, and noise.  It was one happy ride, knowing I am the over dramatic passenger where throwing up in the lavatory or a sickness bag is a normality.

When we initially parted ways for some reasons, we didn't see each other until one coincidence.  I was walking along a mall in Makati in one of my visits to the Philippines when all of a sudden, a familiar face was walking towards my direction.  We stopped, looked at each other, laughed and hugged for some minutes.  It was tight, dismissing the fact that we were in an overcrowded mall. We were probably being looked with envy or derision. 

Then in another fateful day, we met for my birthday and unknowingly, will be our last meet.  It was a very heartwarming and honest conversation.  To quote him, " I decided to let go of people that are of no use to me anymore this coming year, closing my doors to them and cutting off ties as it is time consuming." To which I reply with, "I guess you already made a choice."

After that ominous night of revelation, it was time to walk away and never look back.

Quote Relevant

He constructed fiction that became a facade for his inner turmoil.

from readers' perspectives, they see my postings 

as something of life's awareness and awakenings, 

that the strength of words used 

scaffolds the meanings of one's existence, 

of volatility, of exuberance, of sheer joy.

from people who clicked without leaving 

any footprints at its doorsteps, their mere presence 

juxtaposed the willingness to get in 

but with reservations or apprehensions, that such readings 

could possibly be intimidating in meaning or trapped in boring compositions.

from those who seems to care, whether they leave a mark or unconsciously 

render their presence, their understanding of the metaphorical insinuations 

and thoughts clouded by a collage of photographs may do an 

impression of my well-being at the moment, my whereabouts, 

and my line of thoughts.

my stories are webbed in truth, pursuits and actions, 

that some dreams had been halted by pressing circumstances, 

that some notes were fogged by convolution of words as 

to hide their truthfulness, that some were not embellished by extravagance 

but by experiences through the passing of time.

i fill in an empty can of life with stories to share, 

that some might learn, that others may recognize 

as opportunities for reflections, 

that one may decipher the true value of my words, 

that of an inner turmoil throughout.

it's an ongoing saga of downfalls and unsuccessful leadings, 

of sadness covered in honey, of loneliness trapped, 

that of smiles and joyful words enveloped in mist, 

in smoke, in heavy air of chaos, where the face is bright 

and the departure time drawing nigh. 

Worth Waiting For

All my past Sundays were either spent on bed nurturing vertigo or trips to the hospital for check ups so this week, my Sunday was indeed ordinary since I was in the garden for a change.  I water the garden at night and I do not really see the condition of each and every potted plant as it was quite dark.  Besides, I am dead tired every night that what is left of my remaining strength is used for holding a hose and watering them down. That is gardening 101 for me.

hatched and unhatched eggs

I was busy pruning, repotting, and adding soil when I noticed my beautiful climber which once graced the corner of the pond with magnificent drapes of flowers pestered with insects. I was crestfallen to see such state but on further inspection, the climber alone is an authentic example of life cycle in action.  

chrysalis

Nestled among its leaves are eggs, chrysalis and caterpillars.  It was a sight to behold.  I remembered leaving a certain tree in my house for this purpose and while they are standing side by side, both plants helped the healthy growth of these little critters.  

caterpillar

I let them be.  

As I always wanted something pretty to look at, there will come a time that the flowering climber will shed its beauty and be home for other insects. After some time, it will become vivid again in its colour. The changing weather will bring forth its lovely and welcoming flowers.  For now, I only have to wait.

Life throws us lemons and I will make lemonades with them.  My current situation is not healthy and toxic, yet I will make each day something worth waiting for.