Moving and Leaving (September 25, 2007)

I packed all my gardening books for good. I have collected and have read all 26 of my books as I have a garden and a lot of other things. Next in line will be the plants, the trees, and the ever so expensive pots I have accumulated for many years.

I am moving to a small place, probably a room where I can just retreat after working for almost twelve hours of each day. I have been neglecting the garden but they are still luscious and green because of the rain.

Will I survive? Probably not as I am having nightmares now knowing that the day will come that I have no plants around me. The garden I boast in this blog and to my friends will simply be left unattended, or maybe given away.

In life, things are not permanent and I am now in that stage that I am about to give what I enjoy best.

At War With Myself (September 23, 2007)

A part of me is saying I better leave now. A part of me is saying I should stay. I am confused and uncertain with what there is for me. I am always asking.

For many days now, I have been staring and lost. For many nights I have nightmares. I can't sleep and I can't function well. I must be getting crazy.

It must be a stage. Just like boredom, it comes naturally. It can also be a burnout and this few weeks had been giving me unwanted miseries.

Just ranting. No one to speak with. I am all by myself. I am on my own.

Giving and Forgiving (September 21, 2007)

I wrote in one of my profile that The Giving Tree is one of my all-time favorite book. It tells the story of a tree who loves a boy so much that the tree is willing to give everything. The tree gave its fruits, its branches, its trunk until it became just one plain stump.

I still have to meet a person as giving and forgiving as the Giving Tree. I can never be so giving and I am never so forgiving. So when I hear of real people who dedicates their lives in helping the needy, I respect them a lot. I may not be as giving and forgiving but I do pray that I can be in my own little ways.