A New Green

Ferns are probably one of the most difficult to take care of. It takes the right temperature and correct environment for it to flourish. When I got some to plant in my garden, it took less than half a year for it to flourish and then it dried up. Though given lots of thoughts on where to plant them, it was such a hassle as I second guess every now and then where to finally place them. There was no right formula, it was a matter of trial and error.

So when I started to leave the plants to themselves, out came the blooming of ferns in all its splendour. I got a plenty and they are in different stages and in different sizes. They grew where I didn't plant them. They survive on pathways, brick edges, inside empty pots and even sprouting out of the ground covered with pebbles. And they are thriving and surviving.

I have seen many people who had been successful in their undertakings whether they come from a poor background or needing in education and material wealth. I have seen many who just wouldn't just give up. Whether you put these people in fire literally, they'll rise up from the ashes and begin anew.

I was torn into pieces when I was rejected by love. I was devastated when I was toyed by people. I was stabbed uncountable times by people what with their pretty smiles but evil intentions. When I was much younger, there even came a time when I thought of ending my life as doing this was the only light I saw peeking thru the tunnel. I simply couldn't do it, I refused to just give up and die.

Time and time again I am experiencing sadness and loneliness but not the kind of heavy burden I carried when I was younger. I have a more stable life now. I have learned many things from living alone and facing struggles without anyone around me. I learned to care not only for my being but also for my sanity, that when love wasn't available, life is still worth continuing.

The new green in me taught me a lesson. Wherever I maybe, the thought of surviving comes first and foremost. I might be thrown in the gutter but the smell of murky water will simply keep me fighting to swim up. I might meet the people who publicly humiliated me for being simple but I will return their snide with smiles, expressing my pity to their childish behaviour. I might slipped and fall again for being trustworthy and giving, yet my heart tells me that the good I made adds up to my heavenly score.

The new green in me will survive anything. For I believe that nothing is given to me that I couldn't carry. The new green in me will make me a better person. For I believe that what fate leads me to is a doorway to personal growth. The new green in me will bring me life. For I believe that death does not answer any problems. It is in living the now that we conquer death.