A Shower of Blessings

God forgives me for making comparisons but I will. As I strive through day by day, I cannot help but see others and say to myself, "Why me? or Why am I not like them?" I have a habit of sitting and sipping tea in a cafe while watching the people pass by. There have been moments that I am a bucket of many emotions: anger, jealousy, happiness, regrets, and others. I find it normal but I wanted to look for answers, not just question myself everyday.

When I meet people (which is very rare), I make it a point to learn something good from our little conversations or probably our silence. I try to see the goodness of each while shutting myself when the bad things become visible. I see the candid laughter rather than the loud sound it makes. I see the gracious smiles rather than the shape of the lips. I wanted to see myself when I am with people.

A rich man will always be a possibility for envy as well as a good looking one. Such blessings that were not showered to me when I was trying to catch the rain. I got the cold instead, figuratively speaking. When I see achievements in its greatest honour, I feel envy and wishing that I have such enormous talent to also gather the same recognition. When I visited my friend once, I cried through the travel back to the airport not because I will be missing him but because I have seen his growing friendship and pure joy in his new found relationship.

But of course I am not always the bitter one because I also try to open my eyes not for me to see, but for me to be aware of what I have and in what I can give. I cannot give much and I don't have much as well but in my little ways, I do feel an importance within my being. Maybe I am not born to be great, and I believe I am not born to be a mediocre. I am but ordinary but special in some people's eyes. Maybe it's just human nature to make comparisons as what we don't have. For waking up each day, I should always make it a mantra that the sunshine might not bring showers but the blessings of each breathe count most, living and being.