The Older Me

During my high school and then going on to university days, friendship for me had been a constant battle. Recognizing myself as a nerdy person, I am a home-school-home kind of person. I wasn't a social creature and wasn't invited in any social gatherings. Mind you, I even cry when my parents asked me to go with them to see my aunts and cousins. 

So for me, receiving small notes and cards from people I care for had been a big thing. It means that I have some friends who remembers me. Proofs are three filed and hand made folders showcasing cards from my family members, classmates, and friends. They are all in a box stored somewhere. They are my life long memories.

I remembered fondly when my high school buddies asked to see my compilations and they were all teasing each other and trying to see if there had been a card sent to me from each one of them. They were constantly intriguing each other if we 'are' friends or not. 

The Troll's Hat is part of Oxford Reading Series for older aged children. It is an easy read and nothing sort of spectacular when it comes to plot or illustrations. However, it is a good exercise for intermediate readers. And while my student was reading the pages, I ended up in tears when I read the next page.

I know the feeling because it came some points in my life when I was needing friendship but I do not have any. I heard that I wasn't invited to a friend's gathering because I was told to be boring. I wasn't invited to a school's trip because they thought I will spy on them. I wasn't invited to a bowling game when everyone in the room were personally asked. Recently, my colleagues in school had lunch somewhere without inviting me to join them.

I felt bad but I went ahead and gave myself a much needed rest. A rest from being with people that deserves none of my friendship. The older me is sensitive but I am becoming callous and this is what I am striving for. I shouldn't be affected by these blatant negativities because I can enjoy my own company.

So you won't be able to see grand number of people in my postings as to show the activities I indulged into. No group photos, no eat outs and picnics, no large scale celebrations. I basks in solitude, in traveling to many places alone, and in finding my spot as a person. But I am still in gratitude to those who stood by me and to those who gives me shout outs once in a while. 

Jonathan looked happier than the Troll.

"I do not need cards and presents when I know 

I have a few people close to mine and their hearts," he said.