Downpours

Rains had been pouring over Metropolitan Bangkok in incessant downpours. Some weeks ago, I waded through knee-deep water to get back home reminiscent of "Waterworld" . If it takes me fifteen minutes brisk walking from the gates of my house to the entrance of the village, it took me twice the number of minutes because of the flood. It sure beat running on a thread mill with a 45 degree angle.

What is seemingly disturbing about the turbulent night is a big contrast to what's ahead in the morning. No, it wasn't the floating trash as there were very few but the sight of the roads, pristine looking by the washing of the flood. The leaves were ever green, the streets were washed off, and the air seems fresh.

In our everyday living, we need some downpours to visit our lives every now and then. They come in the guise of troubled relationships, money matters, professional dilemmas, difficult decisions, or simply what we always say, problems of life. The pouring of the rain dampens our spirits but washes us so that we can be fresh and renewed owing to our own faith and healing. The rising flood becomes challenges that we need to deal as they are of nature's giving. It will come, whatever we do or wish for, and will give us the know-how to deal with pressing situations.

As they always say, there will always be sunshine after the rain.

(I am experiencing many difficulties on a personal level but I believe that everything will pass. Thanks to my lovely blogging friends who constantly visit and gives me something to hang on, your presence.)

Rewriting History

Sometimes I wish that the stories of our lives can be lived for a few days and rewinded back if things did not go our way. Sometimes I wish that words that I expressed in anger could be taken back to ease the pain I had created. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time to pursue a different course of action upon seeing the mistake. Sometimes I wish I could have love someone so I won't be regretting the time called present.

For now I write the history of my life through my diary and through my blog. I may not be able to rewind the events but I could really learn from them. For now I try to control my feelings so as not to hurt myself and others thus saving relationships and faces. I either remain silent over things or simply say my piece in a nicer way. For now I remain in my job but is trying to pursue other interests. I look for opportunities and will dive in to learn new things. For now I remain steadfast and loving to those around me. I may not be able to bring a family to this world but by taking care of who's around me gives me a sense to live.

Someday, my history will give meaning and importance to someone. Someday, the people I've hurt will forgive me. Someday, teaching will be a beloved profession for its dynamic face. Someday, someone will be back and give meaning to my existence.

(artwork courtesy of Madeline B.)

Perspective

Walking along the weary path
worried face, grumbling stomach
Then stopped to rest and stretched
one hand begging, meager coins to fetch.

Along came a simple man, mindful

with nothing much but just enough
Reached for his pocket, half-full
a smile, a coin dropped, a gesture.

That one piece of metal to behold
added up for a fruitful goal
Of filling the emptiness not of the mind
but of the body, tired, consoled.

The giving spirit to home abound

lost nothing but a weight to carry
For each piece was nothing compared
to a beggar, a polyphony.

One mouth, two, three to feed
harsh, unfair continuous struggles
To survive, battling, lives to live
for what purpose, reasons crumbled.

For what he shared was just a speck
from a wage, hard earned
Undeniably luckier, even for a sec
to see one's upturn.

Oh why have for some, forsaken
deprived of heaven's blessings
To live is pain and suffer, betoken
no basis for any thanksgiving.

But the giver, what motive, the aim
gave to share, a feeling of pity
Was it heart, the mind, or a game
to help, to absolve, conformity?

The hopeful receiver, prayed to seize
a handful, adequate, or meagre.
No strength to see and feel at ease
tomorrow's light to conquer.

The lucky chap who makes a living
walked a path, clear and secured
Defined of care and trust, realizing
life for all its worth, measured.

* The number of poor people increase from 5.4 million in 2007 to 5.7 million in 2008, 11.4% of the total population, 5.2 million in rural areas and 570,000 in towns and cities. The poor, according to the Thailand Development Research Institute are people who earn between 1,749 and 1,800 baht per month. (Bkk Post Spectrum, July 2009)

(Artwork by Cole W.)