And I Pray

I pray...

that when nature unleashes its fury, it's a wake up call.

that when calamities strike, it serves a purpose.

that when hopelessness prevail, there is an answer.

that when despair entails, there is a side to unravel.

that when sacrifices has to be made, there is a reason.

I pray...

that humankind will stay calm amidst the ongoing natural breakdowns.

that people will stay focus rather than surrender.

that men and women will continue to have faith instead of waver.

that children will see the joy of tomorrow.

that we can continue to live in harmony and peace.

A Life Lesson

I grew up being afraid to be close to anyone not because I am lacking in social skills but because I am afraid of rejection. For me, belonging to a group was likened to being accepted. Elementary days were spent in the company of my sister and cousins. My high school days were a school-home-school typical routine. No special friendships were made during those years.
When I started university, I was recruited to be a part of a presumably elite group of students who met and prayed during Saturday nights. There were only two of us from the freshmen batch who were invited to join. I stayed for four years. I was happy to be a part of this group feeling that I had found a group that had acknowledged my presence and contributions.
At present, belonging to a group is still a thing for me but it is not my ultimate goal in life. When I meet people, I make friends with them. When I am friends with them, I keep contact. When the contact is broken, I retreat. When a friendship is threatened, I act positively. I even tell myself that there had been many opportunities of friendships that I missed and I regretted them.

So now, I put great emphasis on creating friendships as part of my lesson plan in school. I see in my little angels something I had neglected when I was much younger. I wanted them to grow happy and delight with the happiness brought by being close to people and having great relationships. I am glad to see friendships grow right within my environment and right through the hearts of my students both in school and in my special classes.

One fine example is my student's love towards her friend. This is something I should be telling those who had left and those I had intentionally neglected. That I am sad for their absence and I wish to bring those good old times. I definitely learn things from my students, a life lesson indeed.

"When Pleng told me she will go to America, I was heartbroken."

Art work by Keena, inspired from the book Fancy Nancy

This Child of Mine

Children are fun. They are smart, sweet, loving and full of energy. They always come up with surprises and never fails to give me ideas to write or anecdotes to share. Some will leave a lasting impression. Some will be remembered intermittently while some will be forgotten.

I wont be able to name the children I taught since the very beginning but I have all the class photos since I started. They are grown ups now. I believe they won't be listening to my "sit down, please" and "classroom voice". I don't even know if I'll recognize them if I bump into them in the streets.

I remembered working in a local school where I get to teach 200+ students in one school year. I might sound a bad teacher but I cannot memorize the names of the students. I knew them by the way they talk, the way they participate, their exuberance and their loving hugs.

In a private international school I worked before, I noticed to be missing two students in class. They happened to be in the bathroom doing something. Both were pulling toilet paper out of the roll and filling up the toilet bowl. Then they will mix the water and toilet paper with their hands. Quite geniuses to create a play activity that both of them enjoyed but the idea of putting their hands inside the bowl was not exactly a good choice. I remembered the look on their faces, not of utter horror upon being discovered, but those innocent little smiles that will melt even the hardest heart.

Both boys were only three years old at that time and since they left school, I happened to become a good friend of their families. One of the boys gave me a painting he made after the school year. To the untrained eyes, it was just scribbles and blots of colours. To me it was a wonderful gift from an equally wonderful child. He is now in high school. I still see him but I have no idea if he still remembers the 'we're mixing the soup' incident many years ago. Learning that he illustrates and paints as a hobby, I asked for one of his works to be photographed so I can make a post of before and now.

I commend his kindness, his good heart, and his joyful smile. He will always be a big part of my teaching life.
Artwork by Alex D.

Cry

I remain standing despite many painful things. Of recent was the lost of someone important, a broken chain of friendship, the lack of support from friends, and the seemingly callous acts of people around me.

I remain standing despite my fears from a burglary, the isolation of everyday, the loneliness that permeates the air, and the cowardice to build a relationship.

I remain standing despite a disapproved career advancement request, a blow to my colour as a person, the questioning intention of a growing friendship, and the lost of faith in people.

And today while I hang my clothes for drying, I am shouting to myself, "Cry, Jonathan, cry." and I did. I kneeled on the floor sobbing while holding the wet clothes on my face. I pity myself for being alone and lonely.

I wish I can withstand the pain so that I could mask my sadness with smiles. I know it's a phase, but I sure had enough of many things.

Projects

One of the best things we do in school is to build up both creative and critical thinking skills at an early age. I enjoy having discussions, arguments, and resolutions with my four year old students. In my six years of stay in this particular school, I had done major projects with the children according to their interests and strengths.


My first year was a pond project which was a big challenge for me as I was new in school. The second year was great as we made a movie entirely from scratch. The story board and the actual movie footage of which I had kept had been fond memories of that year. Then the insect project was challenging but definitely worth our efforts. Building up a humongous insect home where all insects co-exists with one another was prominently displayed in one of the rooms for everyone to admire. Then comes the airplane project which was exhausting but equally challenging. A year passed where we learned about the power of communication and lastly a project on growing, from one self to a community.


In all those endeavours, the children had played significant roles where they acted as initiators, communicators, developers, builders, thinkers, commentators, viewers, helpers and leaders. The amount of effort and work given towards all those projects became scaffoldings of new learnings. The amount of time spent on collaborating, leading and doing the projects took one school year each but all with a labour of love. As my students of last school year commented, "If we could stay for one more year, we would love to build more of this project. We are very happy to see the project grows!"


As the teacher, I learnt many things from my students. Their enthusiasm and perseverance are immensely appreciated. Their dedication is simply endearing. Their happy dispositions and ardent desires to learn more are traits I continue to practise throughout my profession.

The Artist in Me

"I cannot draw", says the little child.

"But you could try," says the teacher.

"I don't like to colour." says the child.

"I'll help you." says the teacher.

"What do I draw?", asks the child.

"You could draw something you like." suggested the teacher.

"I don't like this picture. It's not nice." says the child.

"Better than yesterday." commented the teacher.

"Why do you ask me to draw?" asked the child.

"To see your world, my child, to see your world."

Watercolour and ink by me, aged 15

Missing You

Having friends is probably one reason why we enjoy life. Having them around is good and having none is indeed sad.

When I was growing up, academic excellence ranked first before anything else. It was home-school-home cramming homeworks, reading materials, and learning a handful of languages. There was no play overs, sleep overs, recreational trips with classmates or cinema visitations. If ever, I had done them without letting my parents know.

I cannot recall any close friends when I was five years of age. But there is this wonderful child I am teaching right now who always show her strong bond to another girl ( a former student of mine as well) by constantly telling me stories about the two of them, writing messages or drawing pictures for exchange. Since last month, I had been hearing my student talk about her friend who left for America. "I miss my friend." "She's my best friend ever." "I wish she is here with me."

I would like to say the same thing to my family and friends though I may not be as vocal as my five year old student. Though distance is a hurdle and time had been our enemies, my good old friends are always remembered.

Artwork by Keena for her friend Pleng.

The Opportunity to Love

When I was in my late teens- scraggy with uninteresting features (not that I became a handsome fellow later), I always envy the people around me. High school was the start of crushes and puppy love which was a little bit late compared to nowadays. College days were seemingly empty of someone to love and the desire to be loved was just overpowering.

I’ve met two interesting and beloved people which became my inspirations throughout. They knew my feelings but I, being cowardly, retreated to my own corner and let the future passed me by. Yes, there were regrets, but the opportunity to love two special people was presented and I took it.

I love my vocation and the children I teach every year. So in my small wonderful world, I make it a point to show them love so that they’ll know its real meaning. When you give love to your child, it is returned. When you show love to your students, it will manifest itself through their actions and words.

When I asked for love, God gave me the opportunity to love, not love itself.