Longing to Escape

I envy the people I see around the gym not of their beautiful and toned bodies (not all have them though) but the dedication they put in lifting those heavy weights and doing those difficult exercises. I am not that determined yet I make it a point to be there during my training sessions.

When I eat in a restaurant or an eatery, I am amused as what I see with people chatting alongside each other and obviously enjoying each other's company. I am interested in knowing their inner minds so that I could in a little way be connected with the joyous faces they had shown. I basked in their smiles while telling myself that some people are jusy plain lucky.

Then I reflect about my own life when I go to bed and wishfully thinking that I am happy, contented, and free from troubles of life and love. I dream of happy endings and worry free days.

For lately, each day reminds me of my superficial goals in life. Bunched up and seen as luscious, my goals though feasible, seems flimsy and having no direction. Just going to school, surviving each and every day; making use of my time to let the days pass, or simply letting opportunities be wasted. When some people sees my entirety as enviable, they do not know that inside is a longing to escape.

One acquaintance pointed out how lucky I am to have a stable job and a healthy body. I acknowledged that but it just seems that it is only one side of the coin. For they do not see what is inside, a feeling so heavy that eventually in my everyday movement and meetings with people, it will just come out. I needed a break, an escape, and maybe just to free myself from this not-so-good feeling.