The Next Months of the Year

I had been exchanging e-mails with a close friend and had been sharing thoughts and plans for the rest of the year. I shared in one of my e-mails of my constant search for my being (philosophically speaking) and the reason for my being alone as a growing child, a teacher in constant battle with racism, and in my dealings with people to connect, re-connect and be valued.


Here's an excerpt of what I wrote:


It is a choice to be happier or be in a really bad position. My choice was the first. I chose to be alone and that I don't complain about it because I am used to my situation. I chose to work in a place where I get to be happy and that is being with young children. I look at the bright side of things because I wanted to be happy even for a short time. I am getting older and being in a grumpy mood the whole time will just make me miserable.


My search for answers can never be fulfilled by sitting down and feeling pity for myself. I realized that life is very short and that all the hardships made me a better person. Choice is always a good thing in life for we are always presented with one. To accept or to reject the choices are in our own hands. To see the meaning and beauty of accepting reasonable limits to our own choice guard us from harming ourselves. The impact of choosing what seems best becomes learning experiences. We make mistakes along but we still move on. We make successes then we become thankful.


The year is now my life's journey. I embarked on a simple sail when I visited Pattaya during the New Year. I feasted on ruins and renewed friendships in Siem Reap in February. I will be embarking on two local travels this April to Trat and Chonburi. In summer, I will be visiting Manila and then Tagbilaran before flying to Taipei. In October, I plan to visit Bali or Borneo.


I work hard because I wanted to see new things and meet new people. Complaining is now irrelevant as actions are more valid. We need to reward ourselves even with small things and when we do, we value our existence, our contributions, and our life's meaning.