People Focus Three: Josefina

Little are the things I know about my mum's childhood.  Growing up in a big family of four sisters and one brother, she was the second child in the brood.  My only recollection was that they were from Gapan, Nueva Ecija and that I visited the place thrice in my lifetime.  I do not even have much information about her relatives or closest friends. 

My mum did not have a chance to finish schooling. Her high school stint was enough as education I supposed, was not a big priority in the family.  All I knew was that she worked at an early age and started her career as a singer. She used to sing, along with her sisters, in many different functions until she began a career performing at clubs and radio stations.

My grandmum would always tell me that among her children, it was my mum who will always take home the best presents, the most enviable baskets of goodies, for she isn't just pretty but a good singer as well.

Josie, as she was fondly called by others, was my first teacher. My fondest recollection was when she taught me how to draw a cockroach.  It was very easy and from that sketch came a hundred more drawings from me. She was a quiet person and my dad, being aristocratic and Chinese, had the voice that all had to listen.  There were bouts of disagreements and I had been a witness to many altercations.  One day, I refused to listen and obey my dad because he wanted me to buy a bottle of acid water.  I knew what he was planning to do.  I ran away in fear and disgust!

My mum's favourite desserts would be ice cream and soda.  That lethal combination made her vulnerable to diabetes.  It wasn't bad in the beginning but after so many years, it made her a regular visitor at the nearby hospital.

Even with her condition, she was always alongside my dad in taking care of their business.  Whenever I am in Manila for a visit, I would see her seated inside the store with weary eyes and a sad demeanour in her.  She was like locked up in a cage, a veritable cell of patterned existence.  There wasn't much joy in her words nor any sense of fulfillment to utter.

She suffered a stroke on her birthday and she was confined in the hospital where I got to bond with her.  I was visiting that year and it was a week long Christmas holiday in the hospital for me and my mum.  It was mostly laughter that filled the room and never did we talk about depressing things.  Not knowing it will be her last birthday and Christmas, we made those seven days fruitful with words of wisdom and reminiscing.

When I received the news of her demise, I was the most sullen person enveloped with grief.  I couldn't talk because I was just in tears.  I arrived Manila the next day and immediately went to the wake.  When the priest asked for her relatives to bless her with the holy water, I succumbed to tears once again.

But the real awakening was when she was finally buried and I was filled with emotions.  It was mostly regrets, for being away for a very long time.  After some time though, I made some closures and I am more at peace to myself.

As in every mothers around the world, my mum is the epitome of calmness and love.  She may not be well educated but I made that lack of education on her part to fill mine.

On Needs and Wants

When I was young, I am fond of collecting TEX cards though I didn't get a chance to trade them with my neighbours.  It was something I kept just to have something in my treasure box.  

We were never rich and since I am also not so lucky to be blessed with presents, I had this fascination with toy trains. I asked my father if he could get me one but to no avail.  I asked my aunt, who is also my godmother,  but she doesn't have any money to buy me that expensive toy.

When I was in the university,  I was fascinated by the sound of the piano and when I hear people playing it, I wanted to learn it as well. My cousin had a piano in their house and so in my spare time, I would ask my aunt if I could use their piano to practise some music pieces. My cousins loathed my presence in their house and I knew how much they despise me from using the instrument. So after some sessions, I surrendered since I am more onion- skinned than thick-skinned. 

I left the country because I wanted to buy myself things that I cannot have. After some years, I actually rented a piano for two years and I gave myself the opportunity to learn some musical pieces on my own.  I also bought three sets of trains with rails that goes up and down, fancier than ever.

From my own earnings, I got myself a number of material things.  I was able to furnished my own pad with custom made furnitures and expensive decors.  I was able to send money home to help out.  I purchased a car, got myself a motorbike, and built a garden worth enjoying. I went on trips locally and internationally without any support from anyone.  

In my life there were more wants than needs, I wanted these and I wanted those.  I did not have the luxury to buy expensive things when I was young.  My being a teacher is not a passport to accumulating wealth.  My being all giving and stupid to requests made me vulnerable to failure.  

For now, I look at my immediate needs and that would be a comfortable home, food on the table, money for emergencies, and an innate desire to live a peaceful and comfortable life.  No more trains, no more expensive appliances and decors, no more long trips and unwanted ones.  I am an awakened person. The attraction of having more and more is a thing of the past.  The need to supply the needs is most pertinent.  

Choice of the Day

It only took four months for me to visit Kanchanaburi again.  I was actually in Sangkla Buri but I couldn't find any accomodation because it was a Thai holiday. I was on the road for 12 hours going and then returning back just beacuse I needed a place to rest for the night.  It was nine in the evening and the road along the mountainside was pitch dark.  It was a nightmare travelling to a destination that you are unsure of and cannot see.

It was so good to finally see some lights and as we were about to give up, we finally reached our destination called Ban Phasawan Resort.  I do not really care where I will be settled for the night as I was indeed so tired from the journey.

The morning was different because I could still hear the water from the nearby river of the hut where I was staying.  The water lilies that adourned the top of the water was picture perfect so was also the surrounding area of the resort.

This was one of my featured resort in June when I visited Thong Pha Pum.  I saw this resort from a distance but now, I am inside. There were fruits and vegetables all over.

Pick your choice.

Kung mahilig ka sa amoy, dito ka!

Kung malabo mata mo, kailangan mo ito!

Kung mahilig kang dumura, dito ka!

Kung "mahilig" ka naman, dito ka!

Kung mayaman ka, dito ka bagay!

Kung gusto mo ng kiliti, eto ang sa yo!

Kung medyo may edad ka na, in na in!

Kung feeling foreigner ka, dito ka nararapat!

Kung makati ka naman, dito ka.

Kung ikaw si Malakas, nandiyan si Maganda!

Kung masakit kang magsalita, bagay sa iyo ito.

Kung babae ka, dito ka na!