On Needs and Wants

When I was young, I am fond of collecting TEX cards though I didn't get a chance to trade them with my neighbours.  It was something I kept just to have something in my treasure box.  

We were never rich and since I am also not so lucky to be blessed with presents, I had this fascination with toy trains. I asked my father if he could get me one but to no avail.  I asked my aunt, who is also my godmother,  but she doesn't have any money to buy me that expensive toy.

When I was in the university,  I was fascinated by the sound of the piano and when I hear people playing it, I wanted to learn it as well. My cousin had a piano in their house and so in my spare time, I would ask my aunt if I could use their piano to practise some music pieces. My cousins loathed my presence in their house and I knew how much they despise me from using the instrument. So after some sessions, I surrendered since I am more onion- skinned than thick-skinned. 

I left the country because I wanted to buy myself things that I cannot have. After some years, I actually rented a piano for two years and I gave myself the opportunity to learn some musical pieces on my own.  I also bought three sets of trains with rails that goes up and down, fancier than ever.

From my own earnings, I got myself a number of material things.  I was able to furnished my own pad with custom made furnitures and expensive decors.  I was able to send money home to help out.  I purchased a car, got myself a motorbike, and built a garden worth enjoying. I went on trips locally and internationally without any support from anyone.  

In my life there were more wants than needs, I wanted these and I wanted those.  I did not have the luxury to buy expensive things when I was young.  My being a teacher is not a passport to accumulating wealth.  My being all giving and stupid to requests made me vulnerable to failure.  

For now, I look at my immediate needs and that would be a comfortable home, food on the table, money for emergencies, and an innate desire to live a peaceful and comfortable life.  No more trains, no more expensive appliances and decors, no more long trips and unwanted ones.  I am an awakened person. The attraction of having more and more is a thing of the past.  The need to supply the needs is most pertinent.