People Focus Three: Josefina

Little are the things I know about my mum's childhood.  Growing up in a big family of four sisters and one brother, she was the second child in the brood.  My only recollection was that they were from Gapan, Nueva Ecija and that I visited the place thrice in my lifetime.  I do not even have much information about her relatives or closest friends. 

My mum did not have a chance to finish schooling. Her high school stint was enough as education I supposed, was not a big priority in the family.  All I knew was that she worked at an early age and started her career as a singer. She used to sing, along with her sisters, in many different functions until she began a career performing at clubs and radio stations.

My grandmum would always tell me that among her children, it was my mum who will always take home the best presents, the most enviable baskets of goodies, for she isn't just pretty but a good singer as well.

Josie, as she was fondly called by others, was my first teacher. My fondest recollection was when she taught me how to draw a cockroach.  It was very easy and from that sketch came a hundred more drawings from me. She was a quiet person and my dad, being aristocratic and Chinese, had the voice that all had to listen.  There were bouts of disagreements and I had been a witness to many altercations.  One day, I refused to listen and obey my dad because he wanted me to buy a bottle of acid water.  I knew what he was planning to do.  I ran away in fear and disgust!

My mum's favourite desserts would be ice cream and soda.  That lethal combination made her vulnerable to diabetes.  It wasn't bad in the beginning but after so many years, it made her a regular visitor at the nearby hospital.

Even with her condition, she was always alongside my dad in taking care of their business.  Whenever I am in Manila for a visit, I would see her seated inside the store with weary eyes and a sad demeanour in her.  She was like locked up in a cage, a veritable cell of patterned existence.  There wasn't much joy in her words nor any sense of fulfillment to utter.

She suffered a stroke on her birthday and she was confined in the hospital where I got to bond with her.  I was visiting that year and it was a week long Christmas holiday in the hospital for me and my mum.  It was mostly laughter that filled the room and never did we talk about depressing things.  Not knowing it will be her last birthday and Christmas, we made those seven days fruitful with words of wisdom and reminiscing.

When I received the news of her demise, I was the most sullen person enveloped with grief.  I couldn't talk because I was just in tears.  I arrived Manila the next day and immediately went to the wake.  When the priest asked for her relatives to bless her with the holy water, I succumbed to tears once again.

But the real awakening was when she was finally buried and I was filled with emotions.  It was mostly regrets, for being away for a very long time.  After some time though, I made some closures and I am more at peace to myself.

As in every mothers around the world, my mum is the epitome of calmness and love.  She may not be well educated but I made that lack of education on her part to fill mine.