Alone in a Crowd (July 23, 2008)

I recently went on a trip with members of my family. Aside from bonding again, the trip was eventually a way to de-stress and a day off from worrying and working. As we all arrived enthusiastically armed with food and bags, we settled and started to have some rest.

What struck me was the period of loneliness even if I was with a crowd. I found it eerie and worrisome as I always end up being on one side of the pool or being alone in almost all situations. The scenario reminded me of my school days where I was always alone. I became a loner and an introvert all through these times.

I was in the company of people I had known for years since most of them were my family members. It was such a saddening experience that I had to be emotionally and physically away from the fun and companionship they were having throughout the day. I was alone in a crowd.

Everyday is a Learning Day (July 20, 2008)

I am always encouraged by inspirational thoughts and stories and it moves me to do better with my everyday dealings. One tip I read from a friend's e-mail states that, "Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime."

True that we are always beset with problems but some are of little relevance that we have a tendency to make them big. Some are petty and easily solved. While there are that concerns our lifetime as it is recurring and sometimes, irrevocable. Indeed, problems are around but we can always do something about them.

I was always shy when I was in middle and high school though I had been voted for many positions in school. It also happened when I was in the university until I started teaching. I thought I will be shy and lacking in self-confidence for the rest of my life but I made a plan to let go of myself from this bondage. I looked for a solution.

So when life is difficult and troublesome, solutions are there. God will not allow us to carry the weight of the world if we cannot deal with it. Problems come, they stay, but they also go.

Babushka's Doll (July 15, 2008)

Babushka’s Doll vividly shows in a literary way a reflection of one’s own personality. It was like a mirror image activity in drama class. The doll becomes the reflection of the little girl’s rude attitude towards her grand mum.

We have annoying traits that we think are cute or permissible. We will only realize them when someone will point them to us. It is in other people’s eyes that we see ourselves. They serve as our mirrors. Some may even imitate our idiosyncrasies and later on we get annoyed with it.

It is better to see our faults or wrong doings by waking up our senses and being mindful. It might not be very accepting for us to see and admit our faults through others’ eyes.

22 (July 13, 2008)

22 is my fave number and not because my birth date falls on that same number. I believe that two numbers joined together makes an even pair and it looks appealing so I chose 22. (Well, 88 is a nice one too but quite a big sum.)

This July, I will be celebrating something with this number. It will be the start of my 22nd years of teaching. As I recall the past 21 years and almost 650 students all in all, I can say that I have done a mighty fine job.

I am proud to have taught young minds from many different nationalities such as Germans, Thais, Americans, Finnish, Taiwanese, Singaporeans, Filipinos, British, New Zealanders, Canadians, Croatians, Belgians, French, Spanish, Malaysians, Indians and others. I am proud to be working with many assistants and colleagues from different countries as well. I am proud to have started a preschool department and been a head of a school. I am proud to have shared my expertise in drama, arts and music. I am mighty proud of the parents who had supported me all these times. I am proud to have represented my schools in many different functions.

But 22 is just a number and it is only use for counting. I believe that I will continue with this endeavour of helping and forming young minds to be confident, resilient and responsible young citizens. A big thanks for those who had been with me in this journey.

Cab Drivers (July 10, 2008)

With the rising prices of fuel and LPG come the hardships of those cab drivers as they struggle to balance the rising cost and their meager income from driving. Since I am an avid cab rider, I sympathize with their dilemma.

I am always awed when the cab driver remembers me from a previous ride. This happened not once but many times. The last one was surprisingly admirable as he remembered each and every details of our encounter. He can vividly recall the place, the weather as it was raining, my residence area, our short conversations about my job and my liking for gardening.
I remembered him marrying at an early age and his wife which is six years younger than him. They have a six year old son. It struck me because of the ages they decided to marry while I am already turning gray and still unmarried.

There was one comment from a magazine reader who said that only poor people and tourists ride cabs. Maybe I am poor but I am not ashamed to be called one. Besides, I get to meet new people and connect with them everyday. Our pleasant meetings bring knowledge on my part and an understanding of cab drivers’ lives.

If My Friend is a Flower (July 07, 2008)

We have known each other since high school when we became classmates in the second year. Along the way we had been teasing each other as oldies including another friend of ours.

We graduated from high school, attended university and later on became neighbours and so we connected once again. We started watching repertory shows, having dinner together and reminiscing old times. We bonded with our other high school friends and all ten of us became a group, friendship intact.

Walking through the gardens of Sonya’s, we found this extra-ordinary flower and she chose this one to be her persona. Knowing her she actually exudes goodness and a great spirit. Like a zinnia, each and every petal of this flower represents a certain persona that has to be discovered to be appreciated. Even the colours say something about her personality. It is in looking inside that we see the true colors. It is in looking inside and knowing her that we get to appreciate the best in her.

Today is her birthday so this blog entry is a dedication to one of the most intelligent and humble person rarely appreciated.

Living My Life (July 5, 2008)

Many years ago, I go to an international school either by biking or by taking a public transportation. I supervise the fifth graders during lunch so I am familiar with their faces. One day, I happen to be inside a public transportation to go to school with someone from the fifth grade. She stopped right in front of a posh subdivision while I continued about fifteen more meters away to stop in front of the school. This happened thrice or more and I had been aroused with curiosity as why she would stop before reaching the gate of the school and walk.

My guess was that she was embarrassed to be seen riding a public transportation while her well-to-do classmates take school buses or their private cars. She must be embarrassed that her family is not as well off as her friends. I found out later that she attends school through a scholarship granted to her. It means that she was eligible to study in an international school not because she was rich but because she has the brain and that she bested many candidates for the scholarship grant. It means that she is far better than others but lacking in respect to herself. She is blessed and she should realize that.

I am not rich but I take pride with all the accomplishments I had been reaping throughout. I may not have the money to buy expensive things but I have the dignity to tell people that I live a simple yet honest life. I walk the streets, I take public transportation and I eat street food yet I am honoured that I earn everything through my hard work. I am not ashamed to be a simple person.

Growing To Be Me (July 02, 2008)

There are things in life that cannot be explained and we always almost blame others or even God if we are down and trodden. If I have to reminisce old times, I would say that I am not one of the lucky ones. I was always the hard worker but the unappreciated one. I am always the diligent student but I get frowned upon when I receive a low mark in one of my exams. I am always the conscientious one but people mistook me as arrogant, a show off.

Then I brought all of these negative feelings towards the duration of my life. I am always bickering, I am always blaming myself, I am always sad. I am always telling myself that life is unfair and that life has nothing much for me to give. It is a mistake to be brought into existence.

But as I grow older, I have realized that there is a reason for being neglected, for being the last, for being ridiculed and for being unappreciated. We all are of the same magnitude but it is in giving weight to the problems that it becomes heavier and harder to carry. In this life, we need to give weight to our happiness, finding happiness to be exact. For it is in finding happiness that we can achieve a better life, a fuller and more meaningful existence.