And so when one is experiencing troubles, one is ought to now thy good friends.
I rarely experience grief as I am a very positive person. I see the beauty of my surroundings even if the world is fast and ever changing. I speak about mindfulness, about love of nature, about the rich experiences of teaching and about the comfort and love in living. I write pleasant notes and share wonderful feelings. I sought the words of others because I learn to live a better life.
So now that the world had turned against me, I felt that all those braggings of pleasantries had given me shame for I cannot help but surrender to this unwelcomed twist in this chapter of my life. I gave up in many ways consuming my time in selfish crying and pitiful moments. Like a soap opera, I wandered into the many series of events compounded by mournings and helplessness. Unlike the soap opera, mine is for real, and not made for viewing pleasures.
And then I sought for comfort in the hands of people around me. I became more vulnerable and within this time of vulnerability, I was being preyed. Just as I dragged myself out of the desert path thirsty and beaten, the hovering vultures spread themselves ready to attack. And they did!
How could a person not feel the sorrow in my heart when they see that I am in my moment of grief? So instead of extending a hand, my hands were literally being ripped. They knew that it was my weakest moment and they took advantage. I cringed and had this indescribable feeling of hatred and anger. I felt betrayed.
I wanted people to know that when life had been cruel to us, let that cruelty makes us stronger rather than weak for there are those who will take not one but more of what we can give.
So now that the world had turned against me, I felt that all those braggings of pleasantries had given me shame for I cannot help but surrender to this unwelcomed twist in this chapter of my life. I gave up in many ways consuming my time in selfish crying and pitiful moments. Like a soap opera, I wandered into the many series of events compounded by mournings and helplessness. Unlike the soap opera, mine is for real, and not made for viewing pleasures.
And then I sought for comfort in the hands of people around me. I became more vulnerable and within this time of vulnerability, I was being preyed. Just as I dragged myself out of the desert path thirsty and beaten, the hovering vultures spread themselves ready to attack. And they did!
How could a person not feel the sorrow in my heart when they see that I am in my moment of grief? So instead of extending a hand, my hands were literally being ripped. They knew that it was my weakest moment and they took advantage. I cringed and had this indescribable feeling of hatred and anger. I felt betrayed.
I wanted people to know that when life had been cruel to us, let that cruelty makes us stronger rather than weak for there are those who will take not one but more of what we can give.
i need not to ask for the details of what had really transpired to get the message you try to deliver with this post...
ReplyDeletei am so sorry. but i am glad that you still kept the optimism amidst the despair and depression. i know you'll rise above it, my friend. you're a good soul. it will give you strength to endure this...
I pray that God bless you.
I tried to conceal the sorrow by masking it with good memories with entries such as the thank you cards and the fledglings but it has to be told. And even for one reader to make such warm comments is welcomed by the heart. Thanks for the encouragement and the prayers. I will remember this forever.
ReplyDeleteI read those 2 recent entries...
ReplyDeleteI can feel your grief... I just hope you've passed and conquered it.
TC Mr. Athan!
Thanks Kris. Your visit is worth a thousand comforts.
ReplyDelete