Turbulent would probably summed up my month of April. It started with a close friend who met a very unfortunate circumstance and I suffered tremendously. It continued with no support from friends and along came the vultures. I was about to give up and succumbed to the failures of existence. I was about to exhaust the last breathe as I hold on to nothing. It was terribly bad and I am still feeling it.
So for the past weeks my tears are my constant companion. My grief and my spinning head deliver unsurmountable pain as I wake up, start the day and go through. I am glad to have had the company of my students who are my sunshines. I am glad to have the words of wisdom of those who made their presence felt. But evening time creates a mood of fear and of worries. I cannot sleep well. I am haunted by loneliness, separation and uncertainties.
I cry during cab rides. I cry when I fold the washings. I cry when I dry the dishes. I literally cry every moments of being alone in the company of misery and self-pity. But those tears had been making me stronger. Those tears had been giving me hope to believe. One tear drop washes away one hair of insanity. And the amount of salty water that had dried up on my cheeks had been helping me breathe better. For all these will pass, as I write my sorrows and pray for better days.
Whoever you are, I needed your prayers badly.
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