To Give, Not to Receive

A discussion ensued when one of my private tutorial students commented having not much presents for Christmas. She was particularly commenting about how people give less or little. I was adamant to tell her some things in my mind but I did and I am to share in here.

There are people who care less about others. They never give, they only want to receive. A number of my students do not even bother to serve water when I go to their homes. I remember being in one house, and there will be a party, where drinks were a plenty but I wasn't offered any. I learned to bring my own.

There are people who give too much. There is one mom who always showers me with small things but it seems to be more of favours that she gives to receive some such as cancelling or changing schedules all the time. The last time I was there, she cancelled the classes twenty minutes before it starts so when I walked out of the compound and she found me, she offered money to compensate. I was very upset and disappointed.  I learned to say no.

There are people who give because they wanted to get something back. Someone I know even looks at the value and gives in return, with exactly the same or less the value of what she received. Some do not bother to remove price tags so I can see them. I learned to accept idiosyncrasies. 

But the most challenging to understand are the ones who connect the premise of receiving none equals being unloved, unrecognized or unappreciated. I do not get presents all the time and that people are all different. A simple nod or gesture of appreciation is much more welcomed. A card of thanks or an e-mail will suffice. I cannot make people change. I learned to change myself.

Much that I want to receive great gifts and be honoured with material things, these are all immaterial for it is in giving with heartfelt love that we get to receive something more valuable.