I wrote this piece five years ago and since it will be Christmas again, I wanted to reflect whether I was able to offer these gifts to myself and to the people around me, colleagues, friends and even to strangers.
If I have to give three presents for Christmas, I would be opting for these:
Time
It had been a whirlwind of activities for the past years that I am always moving in and out day and night. I am practically working for almost twelve hours and when I surrender home, I am exhausted. I didn't have enough time for myself and for my friends. I didn't give enough time for others.
Time
It had been a whirlwind of activities for the past years that I am always moving in and out day and night. I am practically working for almost twelve hours and when I surrender home, I am exhausted. I didn't have enough time for myself and for my friends. I didn't give enough time for others.
Reflections: No, I am even busier nowadays because I chose to be, to escape things and be away from all troubles. When some resort to drinking because of their problems, I went working the whole week, no excuses for Sundays. However, I gave some time to myself and to two groups of friends when I decided to meet them this year, one in Siem Reap and the other, in Taipei.
Understanding
I always think that things can be explained without much effort. So in dealing with people, I expect them to understand what was being discussed or communicated upon. I was wrong! I have to understand that people operate in many levels. Some are fast thinkers while some needs time to process information. This is probably one of my greatest need, the need to understand people.
Understanding
I always think that things can be explained without much effort. So in dealing with people, I expect them to understand what was being discussed or communicated upon. I was wrong! I have to understand that people operate in many levels. Some are fast thinkers while some needs time to process information. This is probably one of my greatest need, the need to understand people.
Reflections: Yes, there were less anger on my part because I gave up explaining. I just agree to things and when there was much to disagree, I just let others handle the situations.
Love
Easy to say but giving and receiving love had been a big issue for me. Many had loved me in many ways. My students, my fellow workers, my family, my friends, and others had been giving and forgiving of my lack of effort to reciprocate. In the end, I am lost and lonely. I need to open my heart and give. Those people who had been understanding and forgiving had been showing me that it is not late to give in return.
Love
Easy to say but giving and receiving love had been a big issue for me. Many had loved me in many ways. My students, my fellow workers, my family, my friends, and others had been giving and forgiving of my lack of effort to reciprocate. In the end, I am lost and lonely. I need to open my heart and give. Those people who had been understanding and forgiving had been showing me that it is not late to give in return.
Reflections: My students had always been the reason why I still live and the only reason I can recall. I had loved a few but they were not returned while some were kept interests on my part, knowing that I will be rejected. I have no regrets for not being in a healthy relationship. I only regret being in a situation I cannot escape.
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