The Three Questions (August 31, 2008)

A very well respected mum came to my class and shared the story of The Three Questions in class. She read the book beautifully with such fervour, it became an immediate favourite.

While on a book hunting spree, I was able to find this prolific story based on a story by Leo Tolstoy. I was astounded to have found it, so I grabbed it as it was a bargain, so much cheaper than the one you buy from a book shop.

Upon reading the text, I stopped for a moment and returned back from the beginning and reread the story again. It dawned on me that the book does not just have beautiful illustrations but the text was so rich in meanings and interpretations.

The three questions were:
When is the best time to do things?
Who is the most important one?
What is the right thing to do?

So when I reflect on those questions for me to answer back, I cannot give a straight answer. I needed time to find the answers to some of the most simple yet intriguing questions of life.

The answers were given at the end but it was an answer to Nikolai, the main character of the story.

“Remember then that there is only one important time, and that is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing to do is to do good for the one who is standing at your side. For these, my dear boy, are the answers to what is most important in this world. This is why we are here.”

And so I answer the questions with limitations:

The best time to do things is now. Doing them now provides an opportunity for us to make a future. Besides, we do not want blaming ourselves for lost chances.
The most important ones are the people we love and cherish such as our parents, family members, friends, health, belief and conviction.

The right thing to do is to show our loved ones their value, to express to them our love and to make ourselves a part of their growth.

And this is why we are here.

The Start of an End (August 29, 2008)

I suddenly realized that all through these years I am living in a world I made up. A world believing I have friends around me. And now I have to wake up from this illusion.

If I can treasure friendship, I can also throw it knowing that my friendship will never be reciprocated. If I can exert effort to mend broken ties, I can also make the chain rusty for it to break easily. I am not the only one to blame.

I might still be where you found me, the lowly person seeking approval and acceptance from all. I might not be able to stand side by side in your mighty pedestal but I am not looking up. I am not going to soar and fly. I will just surrender.

There is no use for explanations; it is a choice you gave. You live your life, I live mine. It’s the start of an end.

Reunited (August 22, 2008)

Meeting my former high school buddies along with my school mates had been an exhilarating experience. After many, many years we all grew to be older, wiser perhaps, and merrier. It was very noisy in the hall as each and everyone were busy sharing and exchanging past times, stories both old and new.

After that grand reunion, I managed to get together with more people but in smaller groups. I had the privileged to sit down with an all girls group then later in the evening, a night out with the boys. Nothing grand, nothing great but exquisitely delightful to be with all of them.

Time had made us gray-er, bigger, bald-er, and stronger. It also made us experienced and resilient.

Pointing Fingers (August 18, 2008)

When everyone is busy with the way of world, we find it difficult to admit some things that we have done wrong. We usually end blaming someone or something in return.

I know of one person who worked equally hard in school as a custodian. She is always busy, the most diligent I might say amongst all of us. She does not even leave a speck of dust (literally) and even wipes with a soft cloth each and every leaves of a plant placed in the classroom.

But with her diligence and industriousness, she is often the punching bag of the school staff. She is often looked down and told to be lazy, careless and wasteful. Stories had been told about her which circulate as rumours as the staff are fond of gossiping about her.

Is it jealousy or envy perhaps that drives them crazily wagging their tongues? Comparatively, the rest are inferior to her skills as a helper and as a dedicated staff of our school. She cries often not because she pities herself but because she can't be accepted though some of us in school had been very supportive of her.

It is in pointing our finger to others that we think we save grace and face. But if we truly look at our hand, the rest of the fingers are pointing to ourselves.

Dad (August 15, 2008)

I was browsing blogs and journal entries when I came upon an entry written by Toilet Thoughts at http://atoxicmind.blogspot.com/2008/06/five-things-i-learned-from-my-dad.html . His entry was so moving I was in tears reading it. The entry was about his dad.

I have nothing much to share about my father. When I was growing, I always felt left alone and neglected that I didn’t have any bond with my dad. I always feel inside my heart that he doesn't want me around. I tried very hard to show my greatness but it was always blindsided by my siblings.

Though given a rough road to take, I embraced the hardships and unfairness amongst my siblings and made a life of my own. I left and started living without any help or support. I started from scratch with the help of my new employer. It was a rough, rough road.

However, whatever transpired during those years, I still owe what I have to my dad. My younger years living with my family made me stronger as I battled even stronger forces being alone. The anguish and disappointments made me stronger to eventually face the harsh realities of life. I succeeded and my dad was instrumental to my success.

Today is his birthday and I owe everything I have to my dad. He is by far my greatest motivator. Happy birthday!

Mother's Day (August 12, 2008)

As a teacher,I always put great emphasis on the roles of parents in rearing their children. Though most are taught in schol, the beginning stages are far important than anything else. There is always a big difference between children who were raised by their parents and those raised by other members of the house including nannies. The ones whose parents are always there to guide and support are more successful in school rather than those whose parents are always absent. This is what I had observed and this is just my opinion.

In this regards, I would like to thank all the mothers who had been gracefully offering their time and love to the children I am teaching and had taught for many years. This entry is for all the mothers who gave their trust and respect to me as a teacher. I am forever grateful.

I am grateful not only for the trust and the respect but because of your dedication and commitment of being a " true mum". Have a great day!

The One and Only (August 10, 2008)

After reading the book The One and Only by Holly Hobbie, I asked my student whether she was Opal, who is patient and calm even when being copied by someone or Daphne who reacts consistently when she sees such copying behaviour. She immediately answer that she was Opal.

There was a time in my teaching career that a newly hired teacher copied everything I did in class. I helped her during her beginning days but I was actually waiting for her to acknowledge it and say, that she needed some help. I learned from a reliable source in school that she sneaked in and out of my classroom when I am gone and then took photographs of everything , and then execute those lessons and art works in her class.

When I confronted her about the issues, she told me that those that I see were her ideas and not copied from someone. I was flabbergasted as they were exact replicas of my work. I dismissed the issue and let it passed. I still remember being angry and saddened by her answers.

I learned my lessons and hopefully, she did.

Home and Back (August 8, 2008)

I find it very difficult to start anew once I have been in the comfort zone of my home. Connecting with my family is a bonding experience given only a few days to renew and cherish each moments. And as the days grew longer and the time to part becomes shorter, I cannot but feel homesick again.

Now that I am away from home again, I still feel the love and the warmth in my family’s abode. I still remember the many moments of togetherness. But even those moments are being eaten up by loneliness and homesickness. It creeps in like a shadow following me wherever I go.

Life is about choices. I ended up being alone because I am escaping something. I ended up being independent because it was a choice I have to make. I ended up being homesick but the feeling will diminish as days roll by.

One Moment in Time (August 06, 2008)

As I live, I have been meeting people from all walks of life and I had been learning many things from them. Many years ago, an acquaintance of mine got sick without my knowledge. Thinking why he has not been in contact for many weeks, I was surprised to receive a telephone call from him. He was telling me how he had been busy but lately had been very sickly. I do not know his whereabouts so I asked. I am not familiar with the ins and outs of streets but I manage to find his place.

Up three floors, I knocked at the door and a faint voice answered that it was open. I was filled with sadness. The room is barely empty. It only has a folding foam mattress as bed and a few kitchen items for eating. He was lying on his bed with sad eyes and a pale face. I asked him who had been helping him throughout this ordeal. A kind neighbour knew of his condition but can just do little to help.

I went out to buy food, fruits and medicines. I was saddened by the fact that there was none of his supposedly closest friends to help. I was saddened by the fact that being alone poses problems unimaginable by people who have their family around them. I was like him. I was in his situation. I dread to experience the anguish of being left alone.

When he became strong and healthy, he gave me a call and thanked me for my graciousness. He is long gone, as he made a choice to go back to his hometown. I have no idea where he is now. But that moment in time when he was in dire need, I felt how it was to be sick, poor and alone.

For Arts Sake (August 03, 2008)

These are something I will always treasure, some of the works I have done when I was younger. Some were 26 years ago while there were some dating 19 years back. The quality of the paper has seen better days. Still I wanted to blog the pictures for future reference. Besides, this is my own digital diary.

Awakening (August 01, 2008)

"It's not what you gather, but what

you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived."

Very apt for the first day of August, a quotation I got from a sent e-mail many days ago. I always wonder whether I had been living a good life by doing my fair share in this world but I was wrong. It is not what I get from doing good but it is what I do to others that makes me a true person.