Cheers! (December 31, 2008)

As the year ends, I am very grateful of the fact that I have been enjoying life in many different degrees. I am blessed with the wonderful presence of my family, friends, students and co-workers. I am grateful for the bounty of nature by providing my surroundings with greens and my garden with beautiful flowers all throughout the year. I am happy to be able to find time to write and blog my thoughts and eventually read other blogs during my free time.

It wasn't smooth sailing all throughout but I always make it a point that I am not affected by remarks and criticisms which I am sure will diminish my zest to live. I expect less but work more. I love more but expect less. I plan ahead but work out smallest details. I smile when I don't need to and I walk to cool off steam. I enjoy small moments and gather memories from short meets and funny adventures. I learn from small talks and achieve with big results.

The people around me made me realized that life is worth living. The consequences around me made me realized that those events happened for some reasons. My students made me realized how lucky I am to be their teacher. The family I have made me more secure about my philosophy in life. The friends who had come and who had disappeared gave me the courage to continue making friends and believe in interdependence.

Thank you to all those who had been a part of my existence. The year had been a wonderful addition to my cumulative years. Cheers to all!

Christmas is the Time (December 25, 2008)

Now that Christmas is here again, it is time for everyone not only to be cheery but also to spread love and blessings to others.

Some people makes this time as the busiest: shopping, meeting people, partying, going on vacations and others. For some, this time is just one of those days: devoid of frivolities and merry-making. Others might be experiencing the worst of their life at this time because of death, sickness or pressing problems. While for others, this time is the time to reflect a year of living: blessings, trials and thanksgiving.

Christmas for me is a time to be with my family and closest friends. A time to see my family I see only three times in a year. Close friends I get together with once or twice in a year. It is also a time to see former colleagues and people who had given their time and effort in making my existence a positive one.

I never get big gifts or good surprises every Christmas of my life but the Lord always provide me with what I need. All I am thankful for is His provisions to my everyday existence.

For Jepoy (December 21, 2008)

At times, I do think that everything I write has the same meaning, the same intention, and the same purpose. Probably yes, because I see life as a challenge and winning one challenge at a time is my way of gaining hope and strength, thus my entries. I experienced many things but those experiences cannot be measured in comparison with others by the weight of sufferings or hardships, of tears and of hatred, and of lost and of misfortunes. I experienced things that each and every one of us had experienced, in many different levels. It just so happened that I write mine.

I write not wary of the grammatical structure in my sentences. I write for practice. I write for myself. It just so happen that there were lost individuals who have expressed interest in reading some of my entries. I thank them for those visits. I am grateful of their presence. I appreciate their comments.

When Toilet Thoughts mentioned the mind and the heart factors of my writings, he is indeed correct as I write from my heart. The entries are written accounts of my reflections in life, of my love to my profession, of my struggle to belong but most importantly, of my identity as an individual.

I am lost but it is in writing that I see the direction and purpose of life. I am sad but it is in writing that I let go of my sadness. I am always alone but it is in writing that I feel company around me.

I used my past experiences to rise up and let go. I became more empathic to causes and more forgiving to others. I learned that life is short and that I have to live it full.

I thank Toilet Thoughts for taking time to make mention of my blog. "Jepoy, when you opened your door to my knocking, I knew that I am home."

Gratitude (December 20, 2008)

The Emperor and the Nightingale is a well-known story that has surpassed time and cultures. The story talks about many different traits both positive and negative. Two very opposite traits mentioned in the story were selfishness and gratitude.

Many years ago, I haven't seen beggars roaming around the city asking for alms. For the past years, they had become permanent fixtures of the streets and over pass bridges. I have seen them in various conditions and in many forms- people with disabilities, children in tattered clothes, women with their babies, the blind with musical instruments and old folks playing harmonica or drums. Some people stopped to share while most of us just walk pass them without giving them our time.

It is not an act of selfishness if we show hesitation to give or by simply ignoring these people. It is also not an act of kindness if we share an ample amount of money or buy them some food. It is not a pay-it-forward thing if we do them good for the sake of being bless. I find the act of sharing and the act of giving more valuable if we teach them to stop from asking and/or begging. I find it more selfless if we take time to give them opportunities to stand on their own rather than wait for blessings to come.

Yes, the need is there at that moment and they are asking for immediate help. But doing this everyday does not give justice to the notion of helping oneself. It becomes a habit of relying on others for support, of being lazy, and of being dependent.

When I am lost in my understanding of a lesson during my school days, giving me the answers during test time or letting me copy homework does not give value to my learning. I would be more grateful if someone shares his or her time to explain to me the lessons. When I am needing of extra money, asking from friends for help does not guarantee a bailout from my present need, I needed someone positively recommend me a way to earn some.

Those who needed assistance should seek the help and support of government agencies. Those who are going to experience a need to supplement their incomes should think of ingenious ways to earn more. Those who are lost with the rudiments of their jobs or schooling should seek assistance from someone knowledgeable or from other available resources. It is in doing it first that we see better opportunites. It is in making it happen through our efforts that makes it more worthwhile.

Selfishness is when we ask and ask without helping ourselves. Gratitude is when we realize we made a life through our own efforts and being thankful for the blessings.

In Exchange of... (December 18, 2008)

There is this village that I always dread to visit because of the guards. The guards are devious. The way they look down at people when they asked for their ID cards or any form of identifications. One cannot enter unless we give them a card but that is not the problem for me. The problem is the way they ask, they give you a sneer while giving salutes and graceful bows to those with cars (non-residence) or white people (no Id asked). I always tell myself that brown people are not the only one capable of stealing but others as well. It is not about the colours, it is about need.

Here comes a car…salute!

Here comes someone on a bike…change ID!

Here comes a farang (Caucasian)… sawatdee krub!

Here comes someone on a motorcycle taxi (brown skinned)…where you go?!!!!

An acquaintance told me to buy a car so that when I go to that village, I will in a small way, earn respect. Whoa! I will earn respect if I buy a car. Then the next question is, what kind of car?

Here comes a Toyota…change ID!

Here comes a Volvo…sawatdee krub!

Here comes a Benz…arun sawat!

Here comes a limousine…everybody salute!

Life is funny! Some people are weird!

Making the Most of Everything (December 15, 2008)

The happiest of people don't necessarily

Have the best of everything;

They just make the most of

Everything that comes along their way.

With the economic crunch, a lot of people are feeling the pinch and others are struggling to make ends meet. I was speaking with a friend earlier and found out that he had shifted work for a while to sustain the family’s income. He is happy to be able to receive an ample amount for a day’s worth. That ample amount will be able to help his family of four.

With his sharing, I was impressed how people can actually live with that ample amount and told myself that I am sure lucky to be earning more than enough. It was a reminder that my life is good and that I should be thankful for the bounty I am always receiving. It was a realization that people do the same hard work but earn differently. It takes one example shared by a friend for me to see once again that I am blessed.

I always try to remember that when something bad happens, another person is struggling more than what I am facing. Given an opportunity, one must strive to finish schooling, studying when the opportunity is present, to turn an interest into business, to believe in one’s dream, and be passionate with life. Life is not about acquiring material wealth. Life is about living a decent, happy and good life. It's happiness first!

Bitterness (December 10, 2008)

I have to sit down for a long time to finally put my thoughts together and write an entry about bitterness. Then I paused for a moment to re-think whether in my life I had been bitter or not. There were moments of bitterness I felt amongst my family members and of my friends. I recalled some of the reasons, some trivial and some that means so much to me.

When I was in third grade, I didn’t make it to the top three. Finishing fourth in class, my grades were still the best compared to my peers and to my siblings who had been struggling to make good grades. I came home, showed my report card and told my dad, “I didn’t make it to the honour roll.” With a smirk in his face, he blurted right in front of everyone during dinner that I didn’t deserve to receive an honour, I deserve to be called a loser. I cried and up to this time, remembered the look on his face and the voice that echoed from the past. I was devastated.

I remember this episode in high school when I don’t eat proper lunch so I can save my money to buy my mom a present for her birthday. With enough money saved, I went to the most expensive mall and got a hand fan embroidered in silk and finished with floral designs. I asked the store attendant to wrap it for me so that the presentation would be flawless. Then the morning came to greet my mom. I gave her my present and asked her to open the box right away as I was more excited than her. She unwrapped the paper, opened the box and said with a sad tone, “Did you get this from the open market?” I was devastated.

There were still many stories to tell but that would be opening the many wounds of the past. The question is whether I became bitter to myself, to my family or to my friends. The answer is no. The past had been experiences that made me stronger. Those experiences gave me the will to fight, to move and succeed in life. Those experiences are just stories of the past and mere cobwebs that needed to be brushed off.

When I was laughed at for not being on top of the honour list, I studied harder. When I was given a doubtful look, I took it as a challenge to find something better to give. When I was neglected of their duties, I looked for other ways to finance my studies. When I was rejected by my friends for being simple, I gave it a shrug and moved on. When I lost my first love, I cried and cried until those tears washed away my dying spirit.

I can be bitter all through my life and pass the bitterness to everyone I meet. Instead, I write inspirations and stories to read. You are reading one. I hope that in my everyday entries, you learn something about me and about life. Life is too short, live it!

Best of All (December 06, 2008)

The arrival of a famous Wemmick turns Wemmicksville upside down and puts Punchinello in the pits. But Eli the woodcarver helps Punchinello see that he doesn't have to be made of the "right" wood to be special: "YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE BECAUSE I MADE YOU THAT WAY," says Eli. We sometimes think we have to be like famous or "beautiful" people to be special. God thinks otherwise; He made us just the way we are- on purpose.

I was very skinny when I was younger. I don't look good and I know that. When most of my friends were gaining weight and slowly forming muscles, I was this ugly duckling who had stayed the same.

I've met many people and had dated a few but most of my first time meets were disasters. I was always rejected even when I offered my friendship. I stayed away from people. I stayed away from the limelight of loving and securing a future by having someone to love and marry. I stayed inside my comfort zone, home.

That was many years ago. My present age had taught me that physical beauty is no longer as important as leading a good life. I became more confident with my capacity to share my love to others and share my time with my students. I became more involved in seeing the inner beauty of people rather than their outward appearances. I became more aware of my inner beauty coupled with compassion, patience and devotion to duty.

A few people and friends have seen these assets. They gave me the courage to believe. They challenged me by reflecting and seeing myself as a true person, thus making me happier.

I may not be made of "maple" nor a product of the finest forest but deep within me, I know that my maker chose me to be me- one lucky, special person.

GOD (December 03, 2008)

I believe in God and love His greatness. He has been instrumental to my being and to all the things that had happened and is happening to me. I trust Him all throughout in my dealings with life and with the dreams I like to pursue. He is always by my side and I feel His presence as I appreciate the blessings I am receiving everyday.

What do I say to people who do not believe? What do I say to people who challenge my belief? How should I react when harsh things are said and I feel offended? How should I explain that this is my belief, my upbringing, and my destiny?

I live in a community majority of those are from another faith. Though different in perspectives and beliefs, we all live in harmony as we do not step on each other's rights and choices. I work in a community where twenty two different nationalites are represented. We speak about our cultures, we discuss about our philosophies, we respect each and other individualities and religious affinities. Never was I questioned about my faith, never was I ridiculed for believing until today.

God works in mysterious ways. Maybe it is time for me to show my faith so that others might see the goodness of believing. Believing in oneself is an excellent choice but believing in God and His works and wonders is unmatchable.

When Teachers Meet (December 01, 2008)

I had the opportunity to meet one good friend from Australia. An early childhood teacher as well, we had lunch one day and afternoon tea the next. It was a pleasant meet and we exchanged stories of our lives and of our works.

Right after his departure, two lovely friends from New Zealand came for a visit and they are early childhood teachers too. Meeting them for dinner was a welcome change from my everyday routine of school-work-house schedule. The three of us exchanged stories about our experiences and teaching philosophies.

Then another teacher from France arrived and another dinner ensued. Our conversation was centered on the importance of English as a global language. We also exchanged notes regarding teaching preschoolers and primary aged children.

Nowadays, the demands of society dictate for schools to be more academic-based rather than play-based. The demands of society want the children to be more technologically aware, more academically strong and more cognitively challenged. Children will definitely be ahead but the competitiveness and rigidity of schedules and programmes might bring negative consequences in other areas.

I remember playing with duck eggs and bougainvillea flowers and stir them up to make lovely stew. Then I pour some pink juice to many different sized bottles and sell them to my cousins during pretend play. I take care of animals as pets such as chickens, ducks, quails, rabbits, fish, turtles and dogs. I watch my grandfather with cooking, my grandmother with keeping track of sales, and my mom with drawing. And I learn a lot from all these activities.

When I was still schooling, I had never been to tutorial schools and I am always third from the top. And I didn't pursue or compete with my peers to be the first. I am happy to be learning, to be in school, to be with friends and teachers, and having fun.

At present, I make it a point to make my students feel the same way. I make it a point that they feel school as a safe place to play, learn and have fun. I make it a point that each and everyone discover their potentials and use the skills they accumulated when they leave my class. My students are only four and they do not need to be bombarded with tutorials, special lessons, or mind draining academics.

When teachers meet, they can only do little as they are subjected by the dictates of the schools and parents. When teachers meet, they get to share their views and hoping that all these new things will benefit the children of tomorrow. When teachers meet, they renew their spirits and rekindle their flames to teach.