A Day in the Garden (March 29, 2009)

Once again, I spend my whole day re-potting plants from small to medium sized containers as they had been sprouting new plantlets and growing bigger by the day. I dig in the pots with my bare hands, worms and all.

But then again, I am surrounded by God’s gift to mankind. My surroundings invoke quietude unmatched by trips to the mall or movie tripping. Those two are short lived, eager to give enjoyment for a couple of hours. My plants gives me a sense of responsibility, and rewards me with a sense of accomplishment.

Once again, I took the needle like leafy plants to pull out dead leaves and trim brownish spots. I have fifty of these kinds so it means I spent a whole lot of time trimming them.

But then again, my patience was tested one more time. As I look and pull the dead grassy-like leaves, it gives me time to connect with myself as I ponder on what life I have. It serves as a meditating option as I recall and reflect life’s evil and the gift of living. And as I trim the brownish parts, I make recollection of the evil ways and thoughts I am harbouring towards myself and others. The act of cutting reminds me to trim life’s edges of hatred and envy. I must live anew.

Once again, I moved the variety of pots so that I can sweep the dead leaves away, a fave spot of snails and insects. I moved heavy pots and carried light ones to make way for the down to earth sweeper. I am rewarded with sore hands and back.

But then again, the heavy pots are reminders of the loads and loads of trials and challenges we might not be able to carry or muster with our strength. Though heavy, trying had been a recourse. The lighter ones remind me of the day to day annoyances and ranting that are now normal part of my existence. The broomstick is the prayer or the instrument to heal. Its function symbolizes the much needed push to cleanse our souls and renew our spirits. It is very religious.

Moonshine (March 26, 2009)

"I am going away and I want you to understand the difference
between REAL and moonshine."

The above sentence was taken from a book Sam, Bangs and Moonshine that won the Caldecott Medal many years ago. It was about a girl named Samantha whose stories were product of her imaginative world. She claimed to have a mermaid as a mother, a pet cat that talks, and a baby kangaroo that was around the house. When a near tragedy was to happen, she was able to save the life of her best friend upon realizing that she put him in trouble. She was then reprimanded by her dad. Moonshine is having a mermaid mother, a baby kangaroo around the house and a cat that talks. Real is having just a dad, a cat that purrs and a non-existent kangaroo.

Moonshine for me is having a lovely house with an extravagant garden, a perfect family to boot, a high paying job and a life envied by many. Real is having a modest house, a hard-earned garden, a simple life of home-work-home and a diminishing social life. There is a distinction between what we like to have with what we have right now. There is also a path to get the life we want and obstacles perpetuated by envy and greed. There are justice and hope for everyone and there are injustices and hopelessness in existence.

Sometimes, it is easier to live in a world of make-believe and be happy but dreaming is only for a certain period of time during a day. When we wake up, the realities of life are glaring. We take them with ease, with hatred, with regrets or with acceptance. We are bothered by our looks, our status, our health, our familial affiliation, our work, and our love. It is continuous, never ending until we meet a solution, a chance, a choice, or an acceptance.

Moonshine is a life of happiness and a life filled with love. Real is what I am feeling right now.

Being Home (March 20, 2009)

I was looking out of my kitchen window, listening to a familiar sound from outside. I gazed my eyes through the hanging plants and saw a youthful bird singing and a nest she is guarding. "Ahh! a new tenant in my garden! How lovely!"

I had been blog hopping and I had been reading tales of woes and tales of joys. I am touched by stories of love and saddened by separations. In all those entries, there was always a change, a beginning or an end. In all those entries, there was the presence of something or the absence of someone. In many of those entries, lessons can be learned.

Lucas' writings of melancholic rhymes and lyrical passages are beyond expectations while Kris' entries of his vocal honesty are marks of a courageous and confident spirit. I am their new tenant as I visit their blogs every time there is something written. I wait for them and I enjoy the learning and bask at the revelations. Witty, funny, creative and thought provoking, those two authors are simply gems in their own rights.

And when the mother bird had finally given life to those eggs, she will find another to mate and seek another place to stay. However, the bird nest will be there for another new tenant or for the mother bird to return. Though I read others to further my writing skills, I will always be awed by these two prolific writers, very much younger but very talented indeed.

Closing Wounds, Opening Heart (March 18, 2009)

Having plenty of time to think and reflect opened old wounds. Wounds that were not supposed to be left untreated because they will turn bad. Wounds that were visible yet being ignored. Wounds that added to the pain I was already suffering.

Primary School - I was so worried because I still haven't finish my homework, a project I needed to submit to school comes Monday. It was Saturday so having the luxury of two days to make it was clearly there but having no materials to make the project was the problem. I asked for money and it fell on deaf ears. I was adamant to ask my grandmum for some help but I still did.

Sunday came and I remembered it to be very late in the afternoon when my two younger siblings came with a box each. They were excited to open up the boxes that contained two remote controlled cars and they immediately played with their newly acquired toys. I asked them in my very silent voice as I don't want to be heard questioning where my brothers went. I was told that they saw a movie before passing by a toy store. The rest was explainable. I burst out into tears not because I was hurt but because I was angry.

High School - I never failed a subject and I belonged to one of the top sections. I was always proud of my grades and my achievements. During the summer, I was left to tend our business by helping out my grandparents with their restaurant. I ran errands, did the marketing for them, and stayed late cleaning and helping out in the kitchen. My siblings were sent somewhere else for a long holiday, despite their failed marks in school. It was a gruelling summer as I cannot comprehend the situation, gruelling emotionally rather than physically. Though the experience of being home helped me become closer to my grandparents, I still wondered why life was unfair.

Then before school started, I was informed that I have to change school and attend a public school near our place. I was dumbfounded. I resorted to crying and pleading. I was devastated. My grandparents rescued my wounded ego, they gave me the money to continue schooling in my old school until I finished high school.

University - I attended half a day of school and chose mornings so that I can be of help at home in the afternoons. We have no more restaurant at that time. My grandparents were old and they cannot run the business anymore. I wasn't free though as I tend another shop to help out in the family. One night at dinner time, my brother came home late and looking tired. He was then asked if taking the public bus (for that specific day) was a hassle because his car broke down. No need for an answer. I came to realized that no one will ask me how my everyday bus trips were because I simply existed as a person with no emotional attachment to anyone.

Typical Day - One dinner time, we ended up having nothing much on the table except for rice and some leftover portions during lunch time. I knew that my brother reserved half of a whole chicken for himself and suggested if he could possibly share some portions for everyone. He picked the chicken up and banged it on my plate, "You can eat it if you want!" I reacted by doing the same and saying, "If you don't like to share, then don't." A fork came flying and hit me on the left side of my head. "YOU DON'T FIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!" I went quiet with tears welled up in my eyes until I burst out because I pitied myself.

I made these experiences lessons in life. I thrived in sacrifices and I lived having to reflect on my past life as to what were my wrongdoings. I took the courage to live a life that was not similar to what I encountered but a life that is meant to give, to cherish and to love. Tough times indeed, but embracing them with hope gave a new meaning to existence.

Pleng (March 16, 2009)

I am writing a short entry for one of my favourite students in class. She was the youngest in the group but she was able to cope with the demands of the grade level and of her older peers. She came to my class with apprehension on my part as she will be the youngest and she seemed emotionally immature.

I was wrong. Though there were instances that she displayed lack of confidence and struggled to cope with the routine, she proved to all of us her persevering spirit that made her endearing to my heart. But there was one thing I miss now that she is in another school. It is her ability to remember and sing songs. Her favourite one is a song from The Little Mermaid. She gave a warm rendition of this song one time when we were doing a dramatization of the mermaid story. Then, this song became the fave of all the girls in my class.

She was amazing when she sang Away in a Manger with such deep feelings. And when I was singing a song from Dreamgirls I Am Telling You, she was able to sing the lines I sing unconsciously. No,no,no,no way...no,no,no,no way I'm leaving without you...then she continues singing the rest.

I heard she will leave the country to study in the US. I will surely miss her vibrant personality and her love. I send her all the best.

No,no,no,no way...no,no,no,no way you're leaving without me.. I just wish.

Fireflies and Memories ( March 13, 2009)

A province in Thailand called Samut Songkhram is famous for its natural attraction of fireflies at night. Some years ago, my friend called me and asked me if I wanted to see fireflies in action and so I agreed. I haven't seen fireflies since I live in the city so I was excited to board the bus to visit the upcountry. Upon arrival, we opted for a homestay program where we stayed in this huge ancestral home passed through generations. It was a welcomed change.

After dinner, we were picked by a boatman and he instructed us to be quiet along the way. It was like going on a school trip and the teacher reminding us to be quiet and to behave well. Boarding a small boat with four people on board, we traversed the waters of the river with only the whirring sound of the motor. After some time, the motor was shut off and we were gliding along the waterways and excitedly watching above us flicker of lights At first, it was just one then two blinking lights then a couple or more. It was disappointing as I had imagined being surrounded by the thousands of lights emanating from these lovely insects.
The motor was turned on again and we went farther where the river seemed wider and deeper. Each side of the river way were planted with trees, big and small. When the motor was turned off, lights were seen coming from the dark- branches and leaves of the trees, above and before us. And as we sailed towards a longer distance, more and more lights beckoned on us showering us with multitudes of small twinkling lights. The lights were in a conversation mode, as one flicker turned off, another one turned on. It was like they were talking. It was like they were giving out signals to each other and to us. It was a wonderful sight. It was magical.

Nature has so many surprises and I had been lucky to see one of nature's wonders. I am saddened that this natural attraction is no longer as exciting as before. The fireflies are moving away, and the time will come that they will be gone.

The Tin Forest ( March 10, 2009)

My assistant and I kept on talking about the wonders of nature that surrounds us. I, for one love gardening and all the flowers and plants I collect. I enjoy the visits of the birds and the bugs. I cherish the beauty and the serenity as I am surrounded by greens. My assistant is a cat and insect lover. She cares for animals and bugs that she is keen in learning about them particularly how to culture insects as food.

We often ask in wonder until when can we see these beautiful creations as the world is changing at a fast pace. We often discuss the future of our surroundings as a lot of people ravages nature's gifts without conscience. We speak for the children in our class, in the school and in each and every child too young to understand what is about to happen.

After reading The Tin Forest by Helen Ward, I am amazed at the talent of the author as she makes an analogy of the world in danger with the existence of a dream. The beginning tells the story of a world filled with rubbish and one's man goal to make his surrounding clean. He dreams of a beautiful surrounding coupled with magnificent creatures and lively colours. One day, a busted light bulb gave him an idea and later transformed his earthly surroundings by making use of tin to create a forest of his dream. Unnatural but extremely splendid, he was able to create a masterpiece. Then since that dream carries with it hope, a bird started to make the forest alive by contributing seeds and inviting its friends to visit and live in the tin forest. The rest of the pages become an unfolding drama of nature's best, metals and real nature combined.

Wayne Anderson, the illustrator, created the first few pages with colours of grey, a picture of a huge load of rubbish and bad weather. And as one flips the page, colours emanate as the gift of nature slowly unfolds its splendour. Thus, the vivid illustrations give life to the words of the author.

I do hope that the world will remain lovely and exciting to live in. I wouldn't want the children of the next generation to live surrounded by representations rather than what is real. Let's do our share.

We Are a Family II (March 06, 2009)

HBO's doing an Oscar marathon and one night I saw the movie Dreamgirls. I have this favourite song called Family and thus for this entry. I had been singing that when the movie came to the big screen last year. My former students can hear me humming the melody and singing the song unconsciously.

One day, one of the child wanted to do things his own way and he was being insistent. I explained that being in a large group might be intimidating for him so a small group was suggested. It did work! It seemed that he was lacking in confidence to do new things so he insisted on doing what he was good at without trying to learn something new for social purposes. The children made an effort to help out the child. We worked together and achieved a better result.

This situation was explained to the class by singing the lyrics to the song. During circle time, I told everyone that there were things that can be done individually and that there were things that we should do together. I also made a comment that we were a family.

We are a family like a giant tree,

reaching out to the sky (I changed this part)
We are a family we are so much more
than just you and I
We are a family like a giant tree,
growing stronger, growing wiser

we are growing free...

Our classroom was a microscopic unit of a group that relied on support and collaboration. The teachings and the learnings were intertwined with both groups working as a family unit. In the end, success was accomplished and lives were enriched, both the life of the teacher and the lives of his students.

We can lead and we can follow but best of all, we can work together to achieve something good.

My Secret Garden (March 02, 2009)

Jon-nie, Jon-nie, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

With silver bells and cockle shells, and pretty maids all in a row.

The front garden consists of Dracaena Marginata tricolour and Laurentii with tiny flowers abound. It is also planted with a medium sized Orange Jasmine and a huge tree called Yellow Champak.

To the right are lined shrubs called Wrightia Religiosa now blooming with fragrant white flowers.

Three mango trees grace the grass area with some Purple Leaved Spiderwort as groundcover invading the area.

The right side of the house is lined with a little less than a hundred of evergreen and hanging plants.

And as we meander through the path of cleft stone and gravel, more flowers welcome you such as Ylang Ylang, Coral Vine, Purple Bignonia, Thumbergia, Indian Rhododenron, 

Golden Dewdrops and others.

Hidden are my Red Ginger, Spotted Evergreen, Indian Rubber Plant and 

two Australian Pine.

Under the arch pergola is the bougainvillea plant and a small pond at the back garden.

 The back is where the yellow coloured flowering plants are mostly found.

As we circle around the house, we end where a Jasmine plant and 

a shrub called Jatropha finishes the tour.

That's the gate taken from the inside. The pictures were taken right after the rain yesterday. Thank you for touring with me. This is my garden, my refuge, my secret hideaway.