To Sink Roots

I guess it's time you find someone this friend of mine told me to do: sink roots. Sink roots in a place, with a person, to anchor you.  I guess I'll find somebody else.  I was like you before.  I vowed to myself never again. I knew in the end I'd just be a bitter old shrew who teaches by day and does cross stitching by night, swinging in my rocking chair.





I read this passage from a book of which I cannot recall many years ago and it was so impressive that I jotted it down, saved it and then kept it in my stack of memorabilia.  Some months ago, I found the written note tucked in one of my older files of paper. I read it once again and was dumbfounded with how it is so relevant today.

When I read it, many years passed, the words were being spoken to me by the book.  It was sort of mirroring myself of what is to happen in the future. Something unstable and rocky perhaps, a direction I am even unsure.

I have sank roots with regards to teaching, opting to stay here, away from family and friends.  Difficult it was, for missing some of the most important milestones in life. The place where my feet are deeply rooted right now is giving me what I need, materially. But material things are no longer on top of the list. Being away for a long time toils me down. To go back becomes a question.   Maybe to begin anew with life, to find inspiration, to seek solace, or even to sink roots with a person.  

Life becomes a sort of balancing act.  You have to make good choices to stay sane.  So in a scenario where I can be home, would it be a wise choice to proceed when things are even more obscure?  A multitude of questions with unsure answers, life will become like that. And it wouldn't be rosy as well, for the new things I will battle.

So it's undecided until the time comes for it to unfolds itself.  The days, weeks and months of this year will be ticked off as I look into making a final decision. I could be in cloud nine or, just like the passage, a bitter shrew cross- stitching at night. 

Art Auction 2016 Part Two

The titles for each art piece are given by my students in class.  When there are two or three interesting names, we vote for which is the best that describes a certain piece. 

Bidding started at 300 baht for the smaller pieces and 500 baht for the bigger ones. This year, we raised around 3000 USD to support cleft palate operation for young children. 

Leafy Red ( Acrylic on Canvas and Paper)

The Secret Garden (Acrylic on Canvas)

Seed Tree Black (Mixed Media)

Seed Tree White (Mixed Media)

Rain ( Food Colours / Acrylic on Canvas)

Tree Families (Acrylic/ Charcoal on Canvas)

A Play of Colours (Acrylic on Canvas)

Leafy Green (Mixed Media)

The bids were not as grand as previous years and I was a bit disappointed as some of the pieces only got a bid of 30 USD.  Each year is different but this year was not as giving as before.  Anyway, better than nothing. We can still send four children for their operation. 

Not Just To Let It Grow

from Spring Growth, letting the climber grow itself

In a recent post, I mentioned that the climber is making its way all over the back of the house with its leaves and flowers.  I didn't mind the growth as I see it as welcoming.  I said, to let it grow, just like the new found happiness I have.  

I was wrong!  To let it grow means to let fate decides on its directions.  The wayward path of the climber went over and under, right and left, leaving little for me to walk around.  Like the happiness I am experiencing, I couldn't just let it happen, it needs some work.

So armed with my small scissors, I trimmed the sides, the bottom and the upper part of the climber. I went under to pull the dry leaves and climbed a stepladder to clear the canopy of unwanted vines.  It was a lot of work, just like being in a relationship, but it was worth the labour, because I get to have life realizations. 

after the trimmings

To the plant, to let it grow means to let nature takes its course.

To me, to let happiness grow, I need some work.

To achieve happiness, one needs to earn it.

And after the heavy trimmings, I was surprised to see that a branch of a flowering plant was heavily covered by its canopy.  Alas, there is another beauty underneath that overgrowth.  What a lovely surprise, that when I work on myself,  I will get to see improvements and good results. 

the blooms from the Adenium tree

another welcome surprise from the same tree

I need to make this happen.

Art Auction 2016 Part One

Always been, will be, a part of every school year.  An art auction to benefit once again, children with cleft palate.  The proceeds will go to Operation Smile and the children in my class will share their artworks done throughout the year. 

Mice Friends (Food Colours on Plastic)

A Garden Full Of Flowers (Pastel on Felt)

Pretty, Pretty Sunshine (Mixed Media)

A Walk in the Garden (Acrylic n Canvas with Natural Materials)

Our theme this year is Dialogues with Trees so the artworks are mostly inspired by the garden and our environment. 

Changes Out and In

As I celebrated beginnings with endings, I also happen to take photographs of growth, buds and evergreens.  Quietly nestled amongst the towering trees, they came out of their hidings and produced some of the most amazing patterns in nature, and not to mention, life.  The changes that they transform themselves remind me of what I can do with mine. 

Rosy pink, just like the beginning of love.

White and delicate, its feathery petals remind me of relationships.

Buds, clustered, huddled together give a sense of togetherness.

Green, to turn white, a transformation in action.

Tiny, yet powerful, the fragrance alone brings forth a feeling of worth.

And lastly, ferns growing among smooth stones, tells me that nothing is impossible. 

My Weekend

It was one boring weekend and even if there were hundreds of things to do, I went anyway.  As I was informed we were going to the beach, I was just expecting a two hours ride to the nearest one so I wasn't asking much.  Travel time was already six hours when I decided to say something. And when I looked at the GPS and saw we were heading to Myanmar, I went ballistic!

Where in the world are we going?
We are heading to Prachuap Kiri Khan.
What?! And why so far?
It's a long weekend and people might not think of staying there because of the distance.
Aha!  Wrong peeps!

Are there vacant rooms here?
Sorry, none!
Are there available rooms in here?
Khot hot kha! ( Sorry, in Thai)

We were like Mary and Joseph looking for an inn to stay though none of us were pregnant.

It was a good thing that when I started flailing my arms like a chicken complaining in English about the lack of service or help that one gave noticed, suggested a hotel and off we all went.

It was a pleasant boutique hotel with one last room but big enough for the five of us. I got the sofa, a bit shorter than my body so that night, my legs were propped against the wall as I slept in silence listening to the snoring piggies around me, meanie me! It wasn't melodic but my mind was already so tired of thinking about many things so I slept away.

Breakfast of coffee, bread, eggs, hotdogs and bacon was served in the morning. Geez, we only paid 1200 and we get all these servings.  What a bargain!  Then off to go back home as we embarked on another six hours sojourn with a stopover to peruse trinkets and whatever at the market in the border of Myanmar.

My Weekend

It was one boring weekend and even if there were hundreds of things to do, I went anyway.  As I was informed we were going to the beach, I was just expecting a two hours ride to the nearest one so I wasn't asking much.  Travel time was already six hours when I decided to say something. And when I looked at the GPS and saw we were heading to Myanmar, I went ballistic!

Where in the world are we going?
We are heading to Prachuap Kiri Khan.
What?! And why so far?
It's a long weekend and people might not think of staying there because of the distance.
Aha!  Wrong peeps!

Are there vacant rooms here?
Sorry, none!
Are there available rooms in here?
Khot hot kha! ( Sorry, in Thai)

We were like Mary and Joseph looking for an inn to stay though none of us were pregnant.

It was a good thing that when I started flailing my arms like a chicken complaining in English about the lack of service or help that one gave noticed, suggested a hotel and off we all went.

It was a pleasant boutique hotel with one last room but big enough for the five of us. I got the sofa, a bit shorter than my body so that night, my legs were propped against the wall as I slept in silence listening to the snoring piggies around me, meanie me! It wasn't melodic but my mind was already so tired of thinking about many things so I slept away.

Breakfast of coffee, bread, eggs, hotdogs and bacon was served in the morning. Geez, we only paid 1200 and we get all these servings.  What a bargain!  Then off to go back home as we embarked on another six hours sojourn with a stopover to peruse trinkets and whatever at the market in the border of Myanmar.

Waterloo

I received some heartwarming messages from five individuals I didn't expect to send me messages. One is a high school buddy whom I got to know only during my mum's wake. Another is a former colleague of mine in school whom I don't see often.  Next is a high school classmate living in Canada whom I considered as my best friend but we parted ways.  The fourth is a mum of a former student who is based in Australia.  The last being a co-teacher of mine during my first six years working as a preschool teacher in Manila.  These five are most unlikely to send me a private message but they did.

I wasn't expecting anything when I posted my 'ongoing battle'.  Ongoing as I had this dilemma in class since December.  As much as I try to help or support, the problem though solved on a daily basis, changes everyday.  There would always be a new behaviour for a corrected one the day before.  It is a constant struggle not for just one child, but for the entire class as well.  Hopefully, things will get better. 

Thank you for the hugs and short messages from friends around - Denmark, Norway, USA, Poland, Philippines, Thailand, England, Singapore, Taiwan, Malaysia, Australia, Canada, Italy and Belgium.  Your love and words of encouragement are helping me in my battle.

Endearments

When the world seems to agree that my name Jonathan will forever be 'melancholia' comes a new chapter I wasn't expecting to happen.  My forever posts of death named me 'Dreary', while my travel adventures made me 'Dora, the Explorer.'  The garden, a subject of my blog in arrays, represented myself as "calm and collected' and my philosophical taking of things mundane made me the 'Living Confucius'.

In my lifetime, terms of endearment were unheard of.  I was bullied so I get to be called names.  Even my own dad often referred to me as 'unwanted'.  Not everything were bad though, there were also bouts of good names received: 'talented', 'creative', 'artist', and the likes. Most notably would be the word 'friend'.

With the twists and turns of life, from memories past and regrets, comes sunshine.  Once or twice experienced in his lifetime, that ray of bright light is shining through the dark crevices of my existence.  I don't really know how to explain this, ha,ha,ha.

The word that rings in my ear and making me skip a beat right now is 'lobster', a play of word stemming from the word love.  Add to that is a special made-up concoction of familiar words such as honey and my baby.  So now I am referred to as 'hunny bebekow lobster'.

This is probably how I would look like. *smiles*

from jaymoylovesfood.com

Kidding aside, it grows on me.  

So thanks a million, my dearie D!

Longing For You To Walk With Me in My Garden

I was busy being happy and the results were quite ok.  I do draw and paint but one night, while waiting for everyone to finish, I was left alone to do nothing so I made these illustrations via an app called Sketches. 

The flowers were photographed during my short stay in Kamphaengphet and became a reference as I drew one flower each. 

These lovely flowers were drawn because I am inspired by someone, though inspiration comes in many forms.  

When I was sick many years ago, I produced artworks that are now stacked together in boxes. When I was sad, I did calligraphy writing to let the sadness go.  When I am in love, these sketches then.

They may be amateurish and my actuations, teenage like, but it is better to show one's happiness than wallow in the dark.