To Sink Roots

I guess it's time you find someone this friend of mine told me to do: sink roots. Sink roots in a place, with a person, to anchor you.  I guess I'll find somebody else.  I was like you before.  I vowed to myself never again. I knew in the end I'd just be a bitter old shrew who teaches by day and does cross stitching by night, swinging in my rocking chair.





I read this passage from a book of which I cannot recall many years ago and it was so impressive that I jotted it down, saved it and then kept it in my stack of memorabilia.  Some months ago, I found the written note tucked in one of my older files of paper. I read it once again and was dumbfounded with how it is so relevant today.

When I read it, many years passed, the words were being spoken to me by the book.  It was sort of mirroring myself of what is to happen in the future. Something unstable and rocky perhaps, a direction I am even unsure.

I have sank roots with regards to teaching, opting to stay here, away from family and friends.  Difficult it was, for missing some of the most important milestones in life. The place where my feet are deeply rooted right now is giving me what I need, materially. But material things are no longer on top of the list. Being away for a long time toils me down. To go back becomes a question.   Maybe to begin anew with life, to find inspiration, to seek solace, or even to sink roots with a person.  

Life becomes a sort of balancing act.  You have to make good choices to stay sane.  So in a scenario where I can be home, would it be a wise choice to proceed when things are even more obscure?  A multitude of questions with unsure answers, life will become like that. And it wouldn't be rosy as well, for the new things I will battle.

So it's undecided until the time comes for it to unfolds itself.  The days, weeks and months of this year will be ticked off as I look into making a final decision. I could be in cloud nine or, just like the passage, a bitter shrew cross- stitching at night.