Weekends (March 30, 2008)

I am very tired. For the past few weeks, I had been busy pulling up plants from the ground, re-planting them, re-potting some and arranging the whole garden of mine. I take it one at a time since the pots are heavy and I am watching my back. I stay from morning till late afternoon. I am a busy body.

But I have no regrets. I am busy because it is a choice I make. I want a nice place to live. I want serenity felt and serenity seen. My garden is my much-needed respite. It is my peace of mind. It's like God gave me the power to grow.

With plants, it is very easy to say that I believe and that I hope. In growing plants, there is always a tomorrow, as I wait patiently for good things to happen. My plants may wither but with love and care they will give me satisfaction and joy in life, precious in my well-being.

By doing what we like, we grow positively. We learn that life is not a bunch of sacrifices, it is a compromise.

Riding a Cab ( March 27, 2008)

I am a cab rider. I don't drive so the cab is my everyday mode of transportation. I had met some of the most polite drivers who even give me the wai ( hands placed together as if praying shown as a respect) and some of the most animated speakers both in English and Thai. I had spoken with a few who had shared their lives as we traversed around forty minutes of the road. I had also been a listener to the many woes about government or economic instability. I had been offered free rides, asked for special tutoring and befriended.

But of course, I had met some of the most boorish cab drivers around. There were some who were absolute complainers about the traffic situation. There were those who constantly sigh and murmur. There was even one who asked me to get off and walk, as it was a hassle for him to exchange his license for an entry card to get inside the posh village. There was one who wanted to borrow some money. Another one who wanted to sleep in my place and a couple of leg grabbers and giving me the 'touch'.

It is amusing to be inside one public transportation and experience all sorts of mischief and/or fruitful conversations. Cab drivers are indeed humans- happy, shy, disoriented, snobbish, and mischievous. I still have lots of stories to tell and I just find riding cabs an everyday adventure.

Remembering Her (March 26, 2008)

As part of character building, I make it a point to introduce books that shows many different traits such as responsibility, punctuality, compassion, and others. One day, I chose to read a book from a series of book I have and this book was about dying.

The story was about a boy who loved going to school. Aside from attending school, he befriended the gardener of the school as he was interested in planting and growing plants and flowers. He would always help out when he could.

One day and for the remainder of the week, the boy was out of school. His friends were worried as he wasn’t the kind who would be out for a long time. After a week, the teacher gathered the children in her class and announced very gently, the death of the boy from a sickness. The children hugged the teacher and they all cried in unison. In his memory, the children planted the remainder of the seeds the boy left in his cubby hole. The children became more accepting and understanding.

Tears were running down my cheeks as I was reading the book to my children. They asked me why I was crying. I told the children that the book reminded me of a colleague in school who met an accident and died. She was with her husband when the tragedy struck. The children, who were students of mine, had no idea what had happened to their parents that fatal morning. To make it short, they were picked up by their grandparents few days later and they all flew back to their home country.

When her death was announced during our meeting, we all cried in the room because she was part of us. She was kind and eager to help and learn. She came to our school as a parent of our students and became a part of the faculty because of her ability to teach creative movement. She was one of my very first colleagues in school.

Stripes (March 25, 2008)

There are many instances in life that we struggle to make our lives better. It is indeed a good chance for us to show how we can uplift our present standing. Some go for education, reaping up degrees to give them better positions and work. Some go foe challenges, battling the daily doses of insecurities with committment and perseverance. Some go for dubious acts to make themselves look better to others.

But having stripes doesn't make you a tiger. Having numerous degrees doesn't guarantee an intellectual genius. Having perseverance doesn't guarantee success all the time. Working immorally doesn't make one a role model as well.

A degree can give you a future so we have to pursue for one. Perseverance can lead and open opportunities while commitment to endeavours can make us successful. It takes some stripes to be what we want to be but it takes inner strength and belief, to be real.

Inside Out (March 23, 2008)

The Holy Week is almost over and within the last four days, we should have reflected on pertinent things regarding our spirituality. The life we lead and the life we are heading should be grounded on goodness and kindness.

I am saddenned to read an e-mail where the author was advocating people to visit a certain beach for leaisure, fun and exploration. I do understand the necessity of a break as we don't often get the privilege of a long weekend. What I am hoping is that the beach be used as a family gathering or an oasis of serenity to meditate and reflect. But I am just one person, and it is not my right to meddle on other people's affairs.

Reflections shouldn't be just during the Holy Week but must be done on a regular and consistent basis. It is in looking deep inside that we get to see our outside.

Carrying Ourselves (March 12, 2008)

There is a great big gap within the circle of friends I have. Some are well off that they carry brand names and dine in posh places while some are struggling to survive everyday with their meager income. Both circle of friends are wonderful people. Both circle of friends are honest and respectable.

I know some people who are into simple living yet coming from well to do family. I also know some individuals who try to live extravagantly though it does not allow their budgets to do so. I also know some individuals who associate themselves with the well off to look like one. There are many different kinds of people and I have no right to judge them.

I am just a simple person with very little needs. My needs are not measured by material things. My needs are that of an ordinary person who craves for love, joy in life and peace. So when I walk and carry myself in public, it's the same person you will see when I am at home or when I am with my circle of friends. Live simply, that's a good philosophy to live with.

Someone Out There (March 7, 2008)

Loving someone without any reciprocation is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. The thing to do is to leave and move on with life. It is better for us to suffer in the initial stage of falling in love, waking up from that illusion and getting off emotionally from the feeling of expectation.

We are human beings capable of falling in love with others but there are times that we fall with the wrong person. Sometimes, when we meet someone we tend to give ourselves to them hoping, that one day they will also fall in love and commit. These are hopes, and can lead either to happiness or desperation. And when we become frustrated through the length of time, we feel bitter. Besides, we cannot make anyone love us if they are not willing to do so. It is a fact that an act of love will not merit a return of love all the time. Holding on to that dear love in our heart while we cry in pain and expect for what is not to come is not a healthy sign of living.

So move on, and never tell yourself that you are not good enough for that person. We are good or even better, but that goodness was not seen and appreciated but will be, by others.

Away From Home (March 6, 2008)

I have one girl in my class who is exceedingly great in many aspects. She is the eldest in the family and very independent. She often have things and ideas to share and she is indeed one of my very best.

The reason why I am blogging this student of mine is for me to remember her when I am much older. She reminds me of my relationship with my mum, moreso, with a child's relationship with their mothers.

It just so happen that her mum has to be away for work, meaning, her mum can't be with the family for quite some time. One afternoon, when she was picked up by her nanny, she bursted into tears and won't get in the car. She was crying out in the street and the nanny can't control her. I came out, carried her and gave her a hug. I asked the reason for the sudden outburst and she told me that she misses her mum. I gave her some assurance that she will, after some days (months to be exact) will have her mother by her side. I also gave her the assurance of an honest love from her teachers and friends until the day she'll leave us to follow her mother.

She left with her nanny and my heart was broken. I was so sad that afternoon and thought of the incident later at night. Children are children, they cannot tolerate long absence even if it means a few days. Besides, a mother is someone so special, they are in our minds all the time.

A child showed me the beauty and importance of my mum's presence. A mother is indeed irreplaceable.

Losing (March 4, 2008)

We know for a fact that everything in this world has to come to an end so we make ourselves ready. But when the time comes for those special moments to end, we lose our grip and start to cry. While counting the number of days, I am grieving each and every day as I anticipate the lost.

It could be the lost of a love one, the lost of a friend, the lost of a job, the lost of one’s soul and others. In facing the lost, we struggle to get things in order, making our lives back to normal. We try our best to face the world again and start anew. We do what we can.

In these trying times, what we need are the simple words of comfort from family and friends. We need to find ways to stand up victoriously from the lost. It is going to be difficult but there are ways. In these times of trials, God will always be there. I trust that God will be around when the lost comes.

True Friend (March 01, 2008)

When a friend of mine came to visit, we had the opportunity to exchange stories as we have not seen each other for more than two years. Besides, we were just acquaintances at that time when we were introduced to one another by a common friend.

We were chatting a lot. We were trying to unravel the mysteries of life by sharing our experiences and our thoughts. We were exchanging life stories that easily brought us closer together.

During the short visit, I managed to have a conversation about my family, specifically, my father. My father was the sort of disciplinarian in an unexplainable way. To cut it short, I felt that everything within my childhood years was unfair.

While my friend was listening intently to what I was sharing, I saw tears running down his cheeks as I open up part of my life to him. I thought it wasn't real but he was actually listening from his heart. I was in the company of a real friend. I have met someone with a true and sincere heart.

He gave me a hug and reasurred me that things happen because there is a reason. I dedicate this blog entry to one of my blessings in life, S.M.