Flying in July

It is July and it is during this month that most of the people I know are gone or had left for good. It is also this month that I get to be free from teaching as I embark on a journey to visit my family and elsewhere.


As I go home, July is a difficult month as I get to know the many changes that happened during half of the year. Secrets are kept from me so I get to decipher each and every code, trying to read minds, balancing truth with whimsy stories as I listen to every person I meet.


July is a great month since I get to see good old friends and meet new ones. My meetings, schedule permitting, will allow me to visit a former colleague from work, another friend who is my only e-mail buddy, and an old lost soul who arrived from the US. My journey will take me to the infamous Chocolate Hills and Panglao Island with two former classmates of mine. A short trip will bring me to the islands of Taiwan where I get to see my former high school friends and a very close cousin.


July is one exciting month for me. It is a time to be joyful for bringing in old friends and family together. It also becomes a transition period for a new beginning comes August. I wish you all a great July!

Enemiend

Frenemy is a word used to describe friends who became enemies through time. I have many of them but I just do not remember their names and the reasons why they became my adversaries but I am sure it was about jealousy at work. Enemiend is my new word to describe a former enemy turned friend. I have them as well, not exactly as rivals in the beginning, just started with a lack of trust. 


I believe that I am doing well since I have forgotten the people who became my defilers. And I will hold on to those I consider my enemiends because I know that the continuing friendship between us will become more stable and strong. I thank God for my enemiends. They are very much around and very supportive.

Uninvited

When I attended a party in my honour, I looked into the attendees if all were there and was surprised to find that all the Thais were not in attendance. I asked the organizer if she invited everyone and I was told yes. It just so happened that all four absentees were busy that day.


I was appalled when I learned in another class that everyone was invited to a children's party except for one. I was shocked that one little child was left uninvited because she wasn't favoured by the celebrant. 


These two things reminded me of four different occasions of my existence as a person. When I was in high school, I learned that all my closest friends went on a field trip without me being invited. When I was in my former school, one teacher asked everyone in the room for a game of badminton except me. When I worked in a Thai school, the local teachers went for a trip excluding me not knowing that I understand the Laos language when they were planning for it. And in my recent school, I learned from a teacher that they all went to her birthday party. The celebrant mentioned it to me saying, "It was the best since all my friends were there!"


Exclusion is a no-no, inclusion is. So when I see a child lost in school, I lend a helping hand. When I see a child being bullied, I know it hurts. When I see a child playing alone, I know the feeling. For I see myself in those individuals and I know that one day, just like me, they will also be able to stand on their own, hurting yet accepting of man's indifference and choices in life. My perspective just doesn't gel with others. I remain invisible but with so much heart toward others. I make good choices and I choose not to be like them. 


The tree grasped the pillars of the temple, with its roots and all. Uninvited yet still visible and standing strong.

When I Grow Up

I will be a mom.

I will ride a horse.

I will be a soccer player.

I will be a police officer.

I will be a hip hop dancer.

I will be a jewelry maker.

I will be a computer expert.

I will be a maid.

I will be a mom.

I will be a train driver.

I will be a teacher.

I will be a beautician.

I will be a mountain climber.

I will be a ballet dancer.

And so for these little children, to be someone when they grow up is a goal in itself. The challenges they will be facing will serve as their building blocks to hone and mould their personalities and characters. I wish them all the best and in twenty years or more, I know they will be more profound in their goals, more ambitious of their dreams, and more resilient in life.

The Metaphor of My Life

I woke up later than usual since it was a Sunday. I came down and was surprised to see the light was brighter at the dining section of the house rather than in the couch area. I immediately went outside to see the reason for such differences. The whole pergola of the bougainvillea vine fell down on the walkway. The smaller trees and plants were covered with spiky thorns and leaves from this vine filled with pink flowers or bracts to be precise. 


After having my breakfast, I took my pruning shears and started from the top. I wanted to free two of my most gorgeous plants trapped underneath this humongous climber. I succeeded! Then I went under the dome shaped enclosure to free the bird's nest ferns. 


I went out to buy a pruning saw and in the late afternoon managed to cut the main trunk and most of the long archery branches filled with thorns that gave me all the pain I am feeling right now both on my hands and feet. Either I was poked constantly or I stepped on fallen branches by accident. It was grueling.


Then when I tried pulling each and every branch, one slipped off my hand and I lost my balance and fell on the ground hurting my arm and my foot. I laughed since I knew that I looked ridiculous and then I cried. I was sweaty, dirty, and hurting. Oh, did I even mention I am sick right now with fever. 


When I saw the fallen vine, it reminded me of situation right now, my problem. How apt that the plant was pretty when in bloom but thorny all throughout, my heavy load. I was struggling to save what were underneath with my tiny pruning shears, my resources. I wont' be able to clean the whole mess in one afternoon, my given time. It will take patience and generosity of spirit to make the walkway heaven like, my goal. It takes a firm belief that I can do it, my inner strength.


It take situations like this to hone my persona. It gives me an opportunity to shine in my own way. I know that with what I am experiencing right now, I will find solutions. 

From Humble Beginnings

One of the greatest achievements of being an educator is to see his students perform well in life. I am an early childhood educator so my students range from three and a half to five. I had been in this vocation since I finished my undergraduate degree.

I met a colleague from a former school who happens to be the mother of one of my students many years past. She was very happy to share how her daughter is now competing in ice skating competitions and that the child is also a hooked in music. When I went to her concert, I also met two former students of mine.

The concert started with the beginning band playing musical scores from well-known musical geniuses. Then the concert band played and here I witnessed the two students I was writing about. Theirs were complete magical moments, rendering fast and jerky music, then slow and a writhing emotional piece. The last band was the advance group (with one of my other student) of which gave me goose bumps for their rendition of an original piece called Tsunami (a tribute to those who perished from the devastating tsunami that hit Thailand some years ago). 


Recently, I attended a dance recital and witnessed the many students who started their learning in our "little" school. They were bigger now, and some in their teens. I was mesmerized by them all and was teary eyed thinking how some started with no English language at all, no previous school background and now, in front of the audiences, beaming and dancing with excitement. 

My attendance to these events gave me something to be proud of. I am very happy to see that they had grown well and had been sharing their talent in music, dance and arts for people to appreciate. They will be shining glory of my teaching past. When good seeds are planted, expect good produce.

Range of Emotions:Greed

Greed is an evil menace lurking in each and every crevices of society. In politics, it is very predominant especially for those seated in different positions, newbies and old. The newspaper is always full of stories of government officials caught in circles of inappropriate pursuits of wealth, of status, and of power. This does not end in politics alone. It is also visible in workplaces, businesses, and even at the simplest entity of society, the family at home.

When we rise up from our beginnings of poverty, some stayed true to their persona as simple, decent and humble. Whilst others are quiet in their new positions, some does not stop from gathering more of what they acquired. When such acquisition goes beyond what is necessary or enough for oneself, it becomes greed.

A close friend of mine likes playing cards and when he goes with his friends, the moment he wins a card game, the more he plays. So does when he loses money, he gambles until he is penniless and asking for credit among those in attendance. There is an acquaintance of mine who seeks for more and more pleasure in life, though life is short, such adventures might lead him to even a shorter life.

I have not been greedy and cannot recall any stories worth blogging to cite an example of greed. I was always giving even with my last centavo, I give. When it is help in terms of doing home works or projects, I am always there and I never asked for any compensation unless it was an honoured deal that I get paid for such work. But I am greedy in my objective to acquire one possession I indulge myself into, books. I collect them and within the many years of teaching, I accumulated more than two thousand children's books, fiction to be exact.

I wanted to be greedy in terms of power, ambition, dreams, money and wealth but there is no use to be. I lead a life where I am contented with simplicity. Some don't like simple living and others will tell me I am but ordinary. I don't harm anyone from my ambition nor trample on other's lives to succeed. Greed is a bad seed and a seed I never wanted to plant in my life's garden.

Feeling Down

I love singing and I am enjoying my hours and hours of watching reruns of famous singing shows from Britain and Australia. I like the people who auditioned knowing they have the talent but untapped. Simple and unassuming, they then impress the judges with their voices. What inspirational stories!


The likes of Susan Boyle, Paul Potts, Malakai Paul, Janey Cutler, Madonna Decena and others move me everytime I watch their first auditions. I am privileged to listen to their stories and to see how people reacted to each and everyone at the beginning and then accepting them.


Since the school year just ended, I took some time to reflect on the circumstances surrounding my personal life. I feel I am defeated and that I am going down the drain. I do cry at night but right now, my eyes are all dried up. I don't sleep well and I am awaken by every single sound I hear in my bedroom. 


I also have a sad story to tell and I am contemplating on writing another blog to share them to others. It is a compilation of stories filled with high and low points. So if I am in an audition and I was asked to introduce myself, then this will be it...

My name is Jonathan, and I wanted to sing so that I can share my feelings                      to others. I live alone, and had been away from my family for a long time. I only want one thing in life, peace of mind.

                                I had a dream my life would be

                              So different from this hell I'm living

                             So different now from what it seemed

                           Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Range of Emotions: Anger

When I was young, I was the epitome of anger. I had many bouts of anger be it at home or in school. Most of the time, I walked out because I felt betrayed, unwanted, targeted, treated unfairly and discriminated. 

Who wouldn't when my neighbour teased us with such racial insults? 

Who wouldn't when I am bullied in school? 

Who wouldn't when I study hard but still get the insults for getting what was expected?

Who wouldn't when your siblings go to school and I had to beg for tuition fees just to continue? 

Who wouldn't when I am discriminated because of my colour? 

Who wouldn't when I am looked down for being simple? 

Who wouldn't be when everyone in your group was invited except me?

I remember all of them and I remember the names and situations I was confronted with, confronted by and confronted for. I believe it is time to forget and the reflections I am writing are just telling me that I have changed miles and miles compared to my younger days. 

Casting a Shadow

The school year ends today and with this ending comes many realizations and reflections of how I fared as a teacher. Tough would be the most appropriate word to describe the entire school year especially for the first term with 17 students in class. It was a mixed class of younger fours, turning fives, and two sixes.


One student has special needs so it was difficult to balance between 16 children and one. One child has no English so it was difficult to make her feel at home in school. One child has a fear of school because of a previous school experience. One child focus only on one thing and nothing else, and many more concerns. So as a teacher, it was time to know each and every individual and seek answers for each questions. 


With the help of another teacher and an assistant, the first term went well though we lost one student whose parents decided that the class is not for her six year old daughter. After the term, we lost another one whose needs in class cannot be attended by just caring. The needs were of a different level. 


The second term became a much better environment for all, as we all work and play cooperatively. Though there had been instances of petty arguments and altercations every now and then, the children end up being friends again. The most challenging work for the term was to make some children refrain from acting like their older brothers and sisters to their friends, being bossy or arrogant.


It is the last day of school and as the children leave the premises, each one carries within them a shadow not only of their persona but also of how the year had shaped them. Some had become resilient, polite, confident and more independent. Their shadows will then be cast again in the next school they will attend, to grow as they grow, to become more meaningful as they learn, and to reflect their humble beginnings.

Sunset Part 2

The children were whispering and they were giving me hints. "You will get it back!" "I will see you at Milano." "That's the painting you will get." "My mom told me not to tell you."

Our assistant principal and the rest of the school staff knew but they were quiet. They knew the plans being concocted by the parents of my class but they remained silent.

I was very curious and I shared some discoveries, then realizing everyone knew. Even my assistant knew it. I ended up putting things together to make some sense to my discoveries and made myself ready for Sunday.

It was a rainy late afternoon when I went to Milano. A few of the girls in my class were in the playground and when I entered the premises, parents of my students were there, gathered and greeting me with hellos. Later, the rest of my class were in attendance, happily jumping in the bouncy castle available for play.

They were all there, parents and children alike, to honour me as their children's teacher. And in all the fanfare and everything, I was given a priceless gift, a painting I made with the children in class, the Sunset Boulevard one. I was laughing and felt very strange indeed to received such a marvellous present which fetched 20 thousand baht during the auction. Another historic event, not only because of the amount of money spent for such a piece but also the first time to be invited by the whole class for dinner.

The entire place was filled with children and dignified foreigners representing almost ten countries. I was in awe and I was very humbled. Forever grateful, the class of 2011-2012 will be one unforgettable class. 

A big thank you to all the children and their parents: the Rust family, the Busabok family, the Reed family, the Curlin family,  the Eliaz family, the Redl family, the Bunworasate family, the Elik family, the Sereeyothin family, the Goense family, the Lekawska family, the Staib Hansen family, the Venn family, the Wittner family, and the Werner family.

Different Meanings

 I pointed to my foreign students that a thumbs up in Thailand means something else, that we are not in speaking terms, or that I am angry at you. When I asked some Thai students how they show the opposite of putting your thumb up, one Thai student pointed to his middle finger and I said, "Ah, ah, not that!"

I asked a student to draw a picture under the letter Z and the picture was a Zucchini. One American boy immediately reacted that the word is inappropriate. I was baffled so I asked if zucchini is a bad word and he said yes. I asked for the meaning and he said," It is something that covers the boobs and down here but the tummy shows, so it's inappropriate!" 

I was to read the book, The Carnival and I asked the children if they know the meaning of the word carnival. "Yes, it's something that eats meat!" 

The children returned to the classroom and I asked them to wash their hands so I said, "Those who came from art, please wash your hands." "Emm, wash your hands, you came from art class." "No!, I came from America!"

More Art Pieces

These were four more artworks auctioned last month in school. 

 Elements (Mixed Media)

 Princess (Glass Paint on Acrylic Panel)

Castle (Glass Paint on Acrylic Panel)

Magical Unicorn (Mixed Media