It's Merit Making Time!

The New Year is coming and it is all about merry making. Being in a predominantly Buddhist country, I find it odd that people nowadays are more about celebrating the season on a more material level. There is a saying that Buddhism is moderation, not in excess and not too little. This is applicable in many things, from the food we take, from the frivolities of modern living and from the time we spend doing our work and personal affairs.

I, myself, do not practise moderation as I am always indulging in more work rather than taking care of myself. I opted for being busy to make myself forget many things, thus the regrets that follow after. I need to change my outlook, as well as my personal intention to distract myself rather than face the problems.

This coming year is a merry making time but wouldn't it be more valuable if we make it as merit making time. Instead of acquiring wealth but missing out family, we balance our goals in life. What is power without conviction? What is life without love? We can promise ourselves to become more active in helping people, in caring more for our environment, in building stronger ties with our families and friends, and in honing ourselves to perfection. We do good things to receive goodness in return. We make merits to gain rewards in heaven. We set a good goal make a strike. 

Happy Blessed Year 2013 to all!

No Christmas Tree But...

This year, there was no Christmas tree and none of the sparkling Christmas lights that surrounds the house. However, I am still proud of my garden's decorations for this winter season, albeit no snow in Thailand, nature's gifts to me.

The mango trees bearing fruit.

The flowers abloom.

The butterflies abound.

The rest of the trees and plants are either sleeping and waiting for spring, while the others enjoy the sporadic weather change of cold, colder, hot and hotter giving me a palette of yellow, red, orange, purple, white and pink. 

By walking through the garden, the spirit of the Christmas tree and lights are magically woven in reality. Like the season's decors will have to be taken down, these nature's blessings will disappear yet with memories of beauty and blessings.

To Give, Not to Receive

A discussion ensued when one of my private tutorial students commented having not much presents for Christmas. She was particularly commenting about how people give less or little. I was adamant to tell her some things in my mind but I did and I am to share in here.

There are people who care less about others. They never give, they only want to receive. A number of my students do not even bother to serve water when I go to their homes. I remember being in one house, and there will be a party, where drinks were a plenty but I wasn't offered any. I learned to bring my own.

There are people who give too much. There is one mom who always showers me with small things but it seems to be more of favours that she gives to receive some such as cancelling or changing schedules all the time. The last time I was there, she cancelled the classes twenty minutes before it starts so when I walked out of the compound and she found me, she offered money to compensate. I was very upset and disappointed.  I learned to say no.

There are people who give because they wanted to get something back. Someone I know even looks at the value and gives in return, with exactly the same or less the value of what she received. Some do not bother to remove price tags so I can see them. I learned to accept idiosyncrasies. 

But the most challenging to understand are the ones who connect the premise of receiving none equals being unloved, unrecognized or unappreciated. I do not get presents all the time and that people are all different. A simple nod or gesture of appreciation is much more welcomed. A card of thanks or an e-mail will suffice. I cannot make people change. I learned to change myself.

Much that I want to receive great gifts and be honoured with material things, these are all immaterial for it is in giving with heartfelt love that we get to receive something more valuable.

Presents or Presence

Christmas time again and the parents of my students were so gracious to give me presents as appreciation and for the spirit of the holidays. I received many as I have a number of students and most notably, was a camera for my everyday use in school. I got a shirt, some chocolates, a tie, some trinkets, jars of tea, and Starbucks cards. There were also some Christmas cards and e-mail messages and all were in the same line of thank yous, Christmas wishes, and holiday cheers. 

I did not go home to see my family this time of the year though it is the most fitting holiday merry making. I have personal problems and I want to iron things first. Our family is having some financial distress and it is going to help me take some time off during this Christmas season. My personal problems coupled with some from home are just so overloaded I opted for silence and absence.

Though the presents were welcoming as I find effort to celebrate with good tidings, I am now hoping that I went home for Christmas. My presence might be rewarding, though not celebratory, knowing that I was with them during this down times. My regrets...

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all!

Stories Buddha Told

One of the books in my collection is a book called I Once Was a Monkey and I use this literature piece to explore on the tenets of Buddha on a primary level.  I ask my students (6th, 4th, and 3rd grades) to choose a couple of stories woven in the piece and make reflections as to what they understand from the stories.

The author Jeanne Lee introduce us to the cycle of fables in Buddhist literature known as the Jatakas, or birth stories, which Buddha originally told to his disciples when occasion arose to illustrate his teachings. There are six retellings using animals as characters and the different fables are all intertwined as one big story.

I personally like the story of The Deceitful Heron, where the heron turns to trickery to be able to eat all the fish from the pond. At the end, the red crab had to resort to violence to get even for the death of all his fish friends. The story is sad but it teaches us valuable lessons.

From the fish perspective we all wanted to move on, to be in better grounds, or in a greener pasture. We often decide without thinking well. We often accept things without doubts and thorough examination. From the heron's perspective we wanted to get all, to acquire what we cannot have, to get rich or filled quickly with ill gains. We sometimes fall weak and succumb to greed and mean manners. From the perspective of the red crab, we have the tendency to protect our own family, to rescue our friends, to help others or defend them from harm. It is innate in us to side with our friends and family, no matter what.

As Buddha mentioned from the book, "In life, there is no reward for untruthfulness. If you trick others and are cruel to them, they will behave the same way toward you in the end." Are you the red crab who is willing to be a protector? Are you the heron who will resort to deceit? Or the fish who craves for a good life desperately sans the sane thinking?

Be good and show your goodness in all your actions, big or small.

12-12-12

Must be an auspicious day so I am writing to commemorate the highlights of this year. As today marks the 12th of December, 2012 or 12/12/12, I will have to share twelve important things that happened this year as a way to celebrate, to be grateful for, and to reflect the best and not so best things in 2012.

1. It was the first time I didn't celebrate my birthday, not because I turned older but because there was no excuse to go out or have a party or simply indulge myself in pigging out. I opted for silence.

2. It was my first time to visit Siem Reap with two best people in the world. We have not seen each other for many years and to fly all the way from different parts of the world to see the ruins and enriched ourselves with the culture and history of Cambodia was exhilarating. I became young again.

3. I visited the Island of Chang (Elephant) and it was a welcome holiday treat after some gruelling work in school. The beach and the views were magnificent. I valued time.

4. It was my first time to visit Taipei and it was so great to meet former classmates as we gather together  in two different occasions for food and laughter. It was fun to see the many sights of Taiwan and to be with my cousin who is my awesome-mess relative by far. I renewed my friendships.

5. Snorkelling and visiting the natural environ of Bohol with two great people was a major endeavour during the summer. Seeing all those fantastic places including the dolphins and the giant turtles was all worth the walking, sitting down and waiting. I appreciated life's wonders.

6. Being surrounded by students who always love to be in my tutorials gave me some incentives to be a better teacher. I am constantly in the company of great children from Chile, Portugal, Armenia, Spain, India, America and Thailand. I gained trust and love.

7. As always, my constant quest to become my students' role model give me the challenges I need to pursue a concrete role as a teacher: to facilitate, to value and to love learning. I am bless to be in the company of children from Germany, New Zealand, America, Thailand, Japan, South Korea, Canada, Russia, Spain, and Malaysia. I built lives.

8. Having a support teacher this year to learn more about Project Work was welcoming. Though it means more work, the mere fact that I am learning again means that I am still growing as a teacher. I placed importance to growing as a person.

9. Hearing the great loss of my friend Joan and a former head of a school meant sadness and grief on my part. As I mentioned to one of my friends, their departure was like a part of me died as well. I re-evaluated my life.

10. When I decided to become generous, the people around me craved for more, and more until I cannot bear the burden. I gave up and became a prisoner of my own doing. Learning from this mistake, I vowed to be more giving but discerning. I learned to say, enough.

11. When school started this year, I was overwhelmed by the changes not only with the administration but also with the curriculum and the number of students in my class. The struggles went for some months until I saw the fruit of my labour, with the able support of my assistant. Thus, our work is rewarded by smart and loving children. I earned merit.

12. Deciding to stay put for Christmas and celebrating alone the joyous festivity meant a lot. Fortunately I was invited to be with two beautiful families where in one I get to attend Christmas Mass with them, while I get to have one wonderful dinner with another family. Staying put was my choice and I will be hoping for a better year, a better health and all that is good for me, my family, my friends and students. I wish for all that is best.

What a way to cap the year with 12 memories to cherish, to reflect and to grow.

Entangled

One of the most fascinating things I do find in the school's garden is this clump of roots that interlock each other. The tree is actually leaning against the wall since it didn't have much space to grow. Through time, the smaller roots just hang on to each other making twines and knots around the root ball.

I find life like that. When I was younger, I never had a mentor that can explain to me the basics of everything. I need to find the answers on my own.  There was experimentation made. There were series of trials and errors. Mostly, the failures I encountered ended up to be building blocks for my formation as a person.

My ideas would often be mixed. Questioning myself all the time, such as, trying to value whether something has to be taken or given up, or if something is correct or wrong. If I pursue such a desire, the consequences might not be favourable. All these questions had lingered since there was no way to take flight, it was suffocating.

Then I decided to leave my nest, to further my explorations with the best intention. To know what there is in this world that I can grow with and be proud of myself later on. The intertwining roots of my existence gave me the will to move, and to discover new grounds. Since there was no guidance from anyone, I became cautious and then started to build a life deemed proper and decent to live.

I learned many things from all these many years. One thing that I must always remember though, that however bad something is, with will and faith; we can always overcome our entanglement.

500

As a little child, 2 pesos to 5 would mean a lot. I would often go around my neighbourhood, looked for the elders and they would give me 2 or 5 pesos as Christmas money. I remember going back home, counting all those crispy bills and saying, "How rich I am."

When I was a teenager, I would save my 20 pesos by only eating 5 to 7 pesos of lunch (a plate of rich with one stick of barbeque's and some ketchup), that's all. Water was even free! The rest, I put them aside so that I can buy myself a new pencil, or some project related materials for school. 

When I went to the university, I always end up going with a friend who owned a small eatery by another university so we can eat for free. His mom would be very caring and we always enjoyed her delicious meals. I saved my money so I can buy a new shirt or a book to read.

I earn very little when I started teaching but I managed to survived my first year because of the university allowance I get from my graduate school studies. I was already spending two thirds of my salary for transportation purposes alone leaving with very little to buy food or drinks. 

These were just snippets of my early life and most of these highs and lows of being me are transcribed in my blog for years now. 500 is a big number and I am celebrating my 500th entry, 502 actually, with this recollection of tales: friendships made and lost, family dramas, learning experiences, travels and good fortunes.

Will I made it to 600, I don't know but it was a blast having my thoughts shared to some very few. Thanks for the visits. 

The Beauty of Flowers

 

I noticed that flowers had been blooming everywhere including in my garden and with the abundance of fluttering butterflies, I decided to share some photos taken when I visited a flower exhibit in October.

There were plentiful of orchids and premium flowers on display and each arrangement conveyed different themes and feelings.

Birds and nests were added to create a dramatic display nature is never selfish of letting us enjoy.

Overcast was a bunch of roses in bloom and the sweet aroma permeated the air, temporarily or for a few days but worth it.

I have never seen orchids so grand what with this two flower arrangement and it was a marvelous rendition of being with nature's beauty at a reach.

And my favourite of them all, an umbrella of flowers. 

If only that flowers will shower upon us each day to give beauty and hope and love,then, I will forever be smiling.

Gifts: Repost and Recollections

I wrote this piece five years ago and since it will be Christmas again, I wanted to reflect whether I was able to offer these gifts to myself and to the people around me, colleagues, friends and even to strangers.

If I have to give three presents for Christmas, I would be opting for these:

Time
It had been a whirlwind of activities for the past years that I am always moving in and out day and night. I am practically working for almost twelve hours and when I surrender home, I am exhausted. I didn't have enough time for myself and for my friends. I didn't give enough time for others.

Reflections: No, I am even busier nowadays because I chose to be, to escape things and be away from all troubles. When some resort to drinking because of their problems, I went working the whole week, no excuses for Sundays. However, I gave some time to myself and to two groups of friends when I decided to meet them this year, one in Siem Reap and the other, in Taipei. 

Understanding
I always think that things can be explained without much effort. So in dealing with people, I expect them to understand what was being discussed or communicated upon. I was wrong! I have to understand that people operate in many levels. Some are fast thinkers while some needs time to process information. This is probably one of my greatest need, the need to understand people.

Reflections: Yes, there were less anger on my part because I gave up explaining. I just agree to things and when there was much to disagree, I just let others handle the situations.

Love
Easy to say but giving and receiving love had been a big issue for me. Many had loved me in many ways. My students, my fellow workers, my family, my friends, and others had been giving and forgiving of my lack of effort to reciprocate. In the end, I am lost and lonely. I need to open my heart and give. Those people who had been understanding and forgiving had been showing me that it is not late to give in return.

Reflections: My students had always been the reason why I still live and the only reason I can recall. I had loved a few but they were not returned while some were kept interests on my part, knowing that I will be rejected. I have no regrets for not being in a healthy relationship. I only regret being in a situation I cannot escape.

To Catch Such Beauty

I am rather down after learning of my good friend's death, many changes in school, and the ongoing battle with finances and family affairs. Last week, I came home at four in the afternoon and I was in a hurry as I have another class to attend. Upon entering my yard, a number of butterflies came fluttering left and right. I thought there was just one but I was mistaken. There were a handful of them all of the same colour and pattern except for one majestic one.

I noticed that the smaller ones were following the black patterned butterfly where it goes. As they settle down on different leaves, I got some shots of them and they were extremely wonderful to see. It was like a sign that after all the hard work and troubled dealings, there will be new and beautiful things to happen.

Superstitious I am not, but I wanted to believe in something magical after this storm. I wanted to be happy,not for some fleeting seconds but for a longer time. Though butterflies live for a very short period, their presence at that specific moment gave me something to hope for, a realization that not all things that come are ugly. They will be beautiful the next.

In Memoriam

Dearest Joan,

I am still in shock when I received the news of your sudden demise. You left the country to care for your sick sister knowing that you were leaving with a heavy heart. We cannot do anything but abide by your decision as we exchange farewells.

Upon hearing the news, I was immediately stricken with grief and anger. A part of me died when you passed away knowing that all the things we dreamed of will never materialize.

We worked in the same school and from then on, we crossed paths every now and then since the community was just small. You left the school and the old house you'd rented and I left the school and rented the same house. You told me you'll write a book about me as you were fascinated by my name and persona. You always remembered my birthdays and I will always get birthday cards from you and our former students and colleagues in school. You were my bowling partner, my Hard Rock Cafe buddy, and dancing partner through and through. We were like one happy family- Carol, you and me. It was always time well spent with best buddies.

I will forever remember you and your camaraderie. My present house is filled with paintings you got from your Bali teacher, a sculpted pot you made with your students of which I embellished with glitters, and tons of teaching resources I had been using for a long time now. I still have the plants from your former house and they are big and healthy. I have the cards from you and some photographs of our happy days both in school and outside. 

Wherever you are, may you find serenity with the Lord. You are the best and you will be dearly missed. I salute you my friend, it was an honour being part of your life. 

To Fly Back Home

Christmas is almost here and majority of my students and my colleagues in school had made plans for the winter break. While most will be going back to their home countries, some opted to visit other places for leisure.

I was wishy washy whether to go back home or not. Scouting for airline promotions and cheap tickets, I ended having no flights booked because I just can't make my mind. I was hoping to save a few hundreds or a thousand, comparing the present ticket prices to previously purchased ones and that was not a good idea.

Anyways, a friend came to the rescue, more of a prodding, and volunteered to watch promos with an eagle eye, emailing me the latest amongst the many airlines that flies back home. Though all flights were fully booked, I got one and paid a larger sum than  what was offered last month. My bad!

What made me changed my mind? The spirit of Christmas, my family, my friends, my longing to be with people I care and love most. I should always put in mind that money can never replace all the above mentioned entities. So even with very little money, I will fly back home and maybe carry back smiles and happy memories for the coming year.

Getting To Know You

Student A: I had a bad dream. I was walking and then I fell into the ocean. A shark ate me up!

Teacher: What do you think your dream means?

Student B: THAT HE WILL DIE!

Student: T. Jonathan, my toe is hurting!
Me: Why? What happened?
Student: You stepped on it!
Me: Ow, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. (turning red)

Teacher: If I have two feet and my mom stood besides me. How many feet do I have?
Student: FOUR!
Student: Cannot, he's not a dog!

Unafraid

With wings fluttering so divine

on air like a fallen leaf

distance of heights unperturbed

then landing so brief.

Then small movements unfold

wary yet unafraid

seizing the moment of solitude

feeling none of dread.

So when a small hand waved

as if to catch such beauty

taking off majestically

a show of strength almighty.

So fragile but so strong 

so small yet so free

I long for wings and will

to a place where I can be me.

Modern Family

I had been watching three seasons of Modern Family this month even if it means sleeping late and nothing much is done at home, i.e., gardening, washing, or tidying up.

There were moments of exhilaration and bouts of sobbing as I watched each and every episodes of this family-oriented comedy show. I laughed, cried, was ecstatic, surprised, and even stopped to think things over. It was a cacophony of diverse characters, witty lines, and thematic subjects that reflected a modern family. 

And for all the episodes, it was the theme of celebration that I felt I was most wanting. Maybe I miss it because I am alone or maybe because we never celebrate anymore. We had been stricken with financial distress and we decided to amend things by not doing anything. A pity because it is only when we celebrate a milestone that we all see each other. This time, we don't celebrate and we don't see each other, more pity. But the most pitiful of them all would be the seemingly lack of concern and care about the lives around us. We are like strangers to each other. 

Gone were the days we all went out together. Gone were the days we all sat down and chatted together. Gone were the days we celebrated as one family. Modern family anyone?

Walking the Walk

My Life

Been out of blogging for almost a month now. Though it is my one-week off, I still cannot find the time to sit down and write my thoughts. It had been a whirlwind of events, emotionally and my body cannot tolerate such heavy load.

And as I always say, leave me please for I cannot be doing these things forever. I had been giving, through financial and emotional supports, and I am dying. I see myself in the mirror fading and I do wish that I faded now.

And as I always think, I don't want to be here anymore. I wanted to move away, to be so far that nobody can actually reach me. I wanted to be in a place where nobody knows me and that I'll start making friendships, and off to a new life.

And as I always intend, to be away, to be free. To be away not from the people who cares for me but for those who feeds on my generosity. To be free not from my responsibilities but from the shackles of greed that is bringing me down.

These are all talking, an emotional outburst of what had been transpiring for years now. I am looking for ways to escape, not temporarily but permanently, so as to be happy once again. The smiles had long gone and I wanted them back. I will walk the walk so as to gain my happy demeanour once again. 

Of Paulyn and Sally

An Angel from Paulyn ( 20 years ago)

I always keep most of the presents I received from different occasions such as birthdays, New Years, special days, or just being handed something because I was missed. I keep them because they are reminders of my previous encounters with special people and friends. 

A Bear from Sally ( 24 years ago)

Last July, I met two of my former colleagues from a Chinese school where I humbly started as a teacher. Our meetings were filled with laughter and funny anecdotes coupled with some sad news of death and loss. The highlight though was recognizing the fact that we all learned from our experiences and that we had grown  to be better persons compared from years ago. 

(This short entry is dedicated to two of my best buddies. God bless my friends!)

The Trees Around Us

After making notes and drawings about the trees that surrounds the garden, all individual drawings were then transferred to a canvas and were painted in black as part of our study about shadows. Then, red and gold trimmings were added to add life to the art piece. 15 trees from 15 budding artists!

Sea Inspired

Simple yet unbelievably creative. As we spoke about things we do at the beach, the children enumerated a number of ideas and then put those ideas by painting them on a plastic sheet. We hang the end product by the window so as when light passes through, the beauty of the sea shines upon us each day. Now I am beach dreaming... zzzzzzzz

Let Them Be

 I had this vision of perfect squares lined up in different sizes and I wanted the children to see what was inside my mind. I started with one really neat square and then asked the children to visit the table as part of choice time. When I came back to see what had transpired with my ten minutes absence. I saw the children started drawing different sizes of squares and filling them up with different colours.

I thought that the art piece will be a disaster but later turned out to be one of the most beautiful piece ever produced in my class of fours and fives. I was so proud of the children and this art piece served as a reminder that I am a mere facilitator in class, and that I am always willing to learn.

Rocks and Roll

Our project on the environment brought us to a walk around the school and one of the students took great interest in looking at the pebbles used as garden decor. He went back to class and started to make circles one beside each other until he finished half of the paper with an intricate design of round pebbles. I used then the representation to create an art piece that showcased lines, shapes and colours and a reminder of one's child wonderful walk, his dialogue with nature.

Book Inspired

Chika-Chika Boom Boom is a favourite among children preschool aged. When one of our dear students was to leave school to go back to his home country, we decided to create an art work that will make him remember his school days at our school, thus the book inspired piece.

The inspiration for creating art comes in many forms and in this case, a book written by Bill Martin Jr.,John Archambault, and Lois Ehlert. 

Dinosaur Prints

When we discussed about time periods, old and present, the subject of dinosaurs popped up and we decided to create an art using print as our main technique. We talked about scales, perspective and overall arrangement of different items so as to create a focal point and balance. Viola!, another great art piece for that year.

Warm and Cool Colours

Warm Colours

Cool Colours

A study where two colours were contrasted with each other showing red as fierce, brave, fiery, aggressive, mad, energetic, and alive while blue being calm, peaceful, soothing, patient, and a symbol of growth. The two pieces were lovingly put together by glue using paper and home made putty as focal points. 

The Pond (A Project Example)

When the children decided to make a pond in the school's garden, an art piece that showed their different ideas was conceived before transplanting them into a real pond. Though the pond didn't materialize for safety reasons, the installation served as a reminder of their year long study about living things in the water.

(This art piece fetched five thousand baht during our annual art auction.)

What a Wonderful World (A Project Example)

Another example of how music creates art is by studying the words of a song and giving it life. The children chose the materials to be used and gave their ideas on how to represent the verses using an image, or a certain colour, or the elements of feelings and moods. 

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/l/louis+armstrong/what+a+wonderful+world_20085347.html ]

I see trees of green........ red roses too 

I see em bloom..... for me and for you 

And I think to myself.... what a wonderful world. 

I see skies of blue..... clouds of white 

Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights 

And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world. 

The colors of a rainbow.....so pretty ..in the sky 

Are also on the faces.....of people ..going by 

I see friends shaking hands.....sayin.. how do you do 

They're really sayin......I love you. 

I hear babies cry...... I watch them grow 

They'll learn much more.....than I'll never know 

And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world.

Fantabulous!

My School (A Project Example)

One successful lesson of representing children's experiences came in full circle when we talked about themselves, their family and their immediate surroundings. When the class decided to create an environment where they could all be together in one community with the school as the main entity, a structural representation of that community became the end product of a long process of thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. 

Our school, surrounded by the different houses of the children.

A bird's eye view of the school

One of the four corners of the school's walls

The playground and the grass area inside the school

Some of the houses with their gardens and cars

Another bird's eye of the school

Children took part in building their own homes and then participated eagerly in making the school house complete with trees and garden that surrounds it. It was an exciting project, elaborate but fun!

Project Work

This month of September, I will be posting entries all related to project work and what I have done, along with my assistants and students, through the years. A short description on how project works -

" ... successful projects are those that generate a sufficient amount of interest and uncertainty to provoke children's creative thinking and problem-solving and are open to different avenues of exploration."  (Wikipedia)

Short Poems

Since I had been digging old papers and separating which ones to be recycled, I found another folder that holds my very old poems, attempts I might say, written during my teen years. 

Going Gaga

I sit in the chair

   stare at the phone

   and wait for a call to ring.

Minutes had passed

   gone were the hours

   to realized, I'm waiting for nothing.

Ing...

I always dream of becoming

   and having and acquiring.

To end my day doing nothing

   just sitting and staring.

Who Am I?

I! Who am I?

A person with humble pride.

With an honour and a life

With a soul and a heart.

I can do nothing but shout to the world

I am one of the sons of God!

And then I noticed now that I like using the word nothing which is funny because I truly enjoy the song of Ms. Houston's I Have Nothing.

The Alphabet of Art

Three years ago, my assistant and I decided to create individual ABC art books for each student and we managed to do the entire 26 letters, basing the paintings from famous artworks, and then compiling them into books. The children also made a class book using the same theme and I scanned chosen individual paintings to create a poster for classroom use. 

The whole thing was painstakingly done, individually or in very small groups. Though controlled in some aspects as they were only four years of age, these great representations could not be duplicated because of its complexity as they evolved through the ongoing interests and abilities of the children that school year.

This year I wanted to outdo this project and I hope to find inspiration from the children I have this term. I need another challenge to make me a better teacher.

Empty Seats

"It is better to be alone than being with someone who makes you feel alone."


When I tell stories, you never listen...
You never ask how my days were...
I like chocolates, you don't...
If I want to see a movie, everything is boring for you...
There is nothing important but your friends...
You never help with anything...

Empty seats means no audience.
               Empty house means no life.
                              Empty heart means no more of love.

Umbrellas

I always have an umbrella in my backpack. I use it to block the scorching sun or to protect me from the pelting drops of rain. So rain or shine, it serves its purpose. 

When I was at the beach a week ago, I stayed under the umbrellas as I wanted to enjoy the breeze and the sounds of the sea rather than to bask myself under the sun's rays. I was in a safe place. I was in my comfort zone.

In reality, umbrellas are there to protect us but this implement against weather is of no use when it comes to words exchanged or heard that can simply shatter us. 

When harsh words are spoken and I hear them from others, I feel defenseless. When someone picks on my little mistakes, I am hurt. When I hear comments related to racial colour or status in life, I have no other resort but to be quiet. I get defenseless.

I wanted to have an umbrella that will shelter me from harm. I wanted an umbrella that will shield me from vile words. I need an umbrella that will simply comfort me when unpredictable situations arise. My umbrella could be a friend, my confidence, my wisdom, my personality or my faith. 

Let those who wag their tongues of unsound rambling falls and let the rewarding sunshine of greatness greet me everyday, without the need for an umbrella. (my prayer)